That last little spark of the person I loved stayed burning for less than twenty seconds before snuffing itself out.

I think I've reached the point of pity wrt my ex girlfriend

she's in a codependent relationship with someone who "rates" how attractive everyone is

probably not very nice to promise the girl with abandonment issues that you won't abandon her then immediately fuck off to paris

I'm really not doing well rn huh

>can't sleep
>try to sleep
>think about her
>cry
>repeat

the Pitt season 2 opens with Dr King being sued for malpractice and I am convinced it's the measles mum from season 1

the same person also cut me off after my ex lied and told them I cheated because cheating is bad

when I think about how monogamy as an institution grants privilege I remember how I told people about the sexual assault I experienced at the hands of my ex wife, and got told to "go to couples counseling" about it.

holy shit my tits are massive

oh she called me deer

I'm cooked

the "I want to care for and have this person in my life" feeling

oh, there's that feeling again 🥰

I kissed like, 10 people

hooking up with a stranger at a rave fixed me

damn, my mental health really is in the gutter huh

is it complex suicide? probably, but I need to be treated better

idk what to say, but just because I have my life together doesn't mean I'm not suffering

perpetual feeling that there's something wrong with me

I can't stay here, the longer I stay the more lobotomized I feel

I had one friend who I felt at home with, she's moving to France next year

I've been here for 12 years, and I haven't found myself feeling at home

I wish I didn't feel so alienated in Copenhagen

trying to not be bitter about it but it's hard

my self esteem is low enough as is

you know, I don't think I need to be seeing pictures of my ex rn

finding out someone you Really care about's dad doesn't like you kinda sucks ngl

yea

yeah, this isn't a good sign

the downside of not being depressed or manic is how I actually have to deal with my feelings

imma be real chat, I'm not doing too hot