A text to my children at 6am: I shoveled this morning as much as I could before I had to work. On your day off please shovel as best you can but leave me room to finish writing ASS in big block letters. Please don't take this from me. It's all I have.
Me every Saturday morning when I grab the final grocery from the trunk and hit the automatic trunk close button. Every Saturday. Every single Saturday.
Boss: You're doing a great job.
Me: Agree to disagree.
Yesterday we Spring cleaned (Sprang cleant?) and I just walked all the donations out to the curb (20 bags, 3 big shelves, a Baribe plane) and got a good look at everything. My little babies gave away all their coolest shit. Who donates a Magic 8 Ball? How whilst one make any decisions!?
Are Scream Sheds a thing? Like a tool shed except it's empty, soundproof and you can just go in there when the world is too much. Maybe there's a little freezer in there with a bunch of Snickers in it? Hi Sharks, my name is Joe...
Conservatives be all, "I can't believe Bad Bunny wore white to that couple's wedding at the Super Bowl!!!"
I have a crush on the entire cast of SNL UK. Can't wait to see what they do.
www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/s...
I've reached the level of depression where I don't watch the music video for Lightning Crashes but I DO watch You Tube videos of people's "first time reaction" to the music video of Lightning Crashes. It's a subtle difference but still significant.
Oh that's beautiful.
I'm not a fan of the Marvel Dump where they just release all the episodes of a show all at once everything just gets glossed over. Not enough people are swooning over episode 4.
There will be a private screening of my film, LOOK OUT! at this Friday’s Show & Tell Streaming Spectacular in Los Feliz, starting at 8pm.
If you’re in the Los Angeles area, come watch! DM if you need details.
#lookout #indiefilm #animation
I can't think of one good reason that anyone should be murdered. Facebook suggested 27 to me this morning.
I was watching Family Matters this morning (don't judge me, it took years to kick my morning cable news fix) and there was a scene in Rachel's room. I tried to figure out the floor plan of the Winslow family and could not figure out the upstairs. Has any show done floor plan better than Full House?
Sad news everyone. My kids and I loved Mercy: www.youtube.com/shorts/bKzWw...
Late to the party with Begonia. But I adore it's "weird on top of weird on top of weird" solution to every conflict that pops up. Thrilled to see this image come up when I logged it on @letterboxd.social
I find the same in guys behind the counters at pizza places.
I work in the apparel industry. They wanted a graphic based around the word "Amore." I submitted one that said, "Please, sir. Can I have Amore?" It was rejected. Dickens ain't that new new no more.
Me: Sees dead patch of grass, immediately goes out to buy grass seed.
Also me: Never reseeds the patch, leaves the bag of grass seed outside so long that wind and rain crack it open and there is now grass growing out of the bag.
I know this won't fix it but Paul... you are so so so good.
I tumbled out of bed and stumble into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of ambition but the ambition had gone bad. I drank it anyway because it's just a "suggested best by" date and now I feel like crap.
I will continue to do this until they gift me actual shorts that say "Youtube" on them. Christmas was a bust but Father's Day and my Birthday are right around the corner. This will have to work eventually. I'll keep you posted.
Whenever one of my kids says "Youtube Shorts" I interrupt them and say, "Oh! I have Youtube Shorts. Have you seen my Youtube shorts!?" and then I pretend like I have the words "Youtube" written on my pants and stand in silence until they stop rolling their eyes.
Miss you too, bro. ❤️
At what point was the Grinch like, "You know what? Full nude from now on."
Early prediction for 3 years from now that lawmakers actually make attempts to stop him when he tries to rename the Lincoln Memorial, "the Trump Memorial." I've been wrong before though.
Muting a Black woman to claim the vote was unanimous is so incredibly on the nose
New top 4. I'm due for rewatches on them all.
This looks great. I love seeing Steven Spielberg tackling big ideas on a giant blockbuster scale.
