"Mr. President, the new poll says that 70% of voters have an opinion about your handling of the economy!" ::president is appeased::

“That was one hell of an over” I say, unaware of whether I’m saying the right thing or not

Now that you’ve explained it, this is most useful. Also useful: learning ten things about cricket and then throwing those at them. That’ll learn ‘em

What have I done to deserve this?!?

::clutches chest:: nooooooOOOOOO this is almost an exact quote!

Today I stood on the periphery of two conversations between men about sport and boy did I ever panic over the possibility of being asked to join in. Like, actual heart-in-mouth panic

we all know I have no life, so:

hmmm i seem to remember another star outfielder who was “activated”

OMG me too! Taika needs to come out and reassure us

The loser energy emanating from this video has made me sterile

Rockwell Painting man standing up

“My eyeline implies that the stage where the people I’m looking at is, like, 30 feet high.”

You ate what?

Every time I see a post like this I think folks are talking about some misguided reissue of that John Travolta movie where he’s an angel

Indian Buffet with Cornbread Cowboy @Cornbread Cowboi It really is similar to southern food. Breads, big meats, big sauces, fried stuff, great flavor. Here’s a breakdown of Orry’s meal Naan 👍 CTM 👍... TikTok video by Jake Hutcheson

Here you go: www.tiktok.com/t/ZTk9RSR3k/

I’ve seen this same video! Yes, he loved it, and the tandoori chicken blew his mind

This Is Just To Say

I have turned off
the AI features
that were in
the update

and which
you were probably
hoping
to monetize

Fuck you
they were stupid
so unnecessary
and so annoying

If you go back and watch a movie like All the Presidents's Men, it will really hit you how massively our country has changed in my lifetime. It was unthinkable for any of today's headlines to ever even exist back then.

A lot of you think it's always been this bad, but it hasn't. It really hasn't.

>unarmed pleasure vessel inexplicably capable of running a blockade

What did he know?

@joelastname.bsky.social Aren't you a fan of the purple do-gooder? Or am I misremembering?

vengabus is short for vengeance bus

When we found out that some diner cooks record themselves with a GoPro while they cook and then upload it to YouTube, our lives improved a thousand fold

Any underwear is travel underwear if you’re moving while you wear it

Remake The Mandalorian but make it a baby Watto

Picture of Super Dave Osborne, a white man in a white jumpsuit with yellow stars and red and blue piping. He's also wearing a baseball cap with SD on it in red lettering. He's smiling and giving a thumb's up

Happy #SupermanDay!

Suddenly nostalgic and homesick

Couple in hats hold a giant sign: WE CLOSED OUR CITIZENS ACCOUNT OVER ICE COMPLICITY.

De-ICE Citizens Bank.
They’re still financing Core Civic & GEO Group, the corrupt & greedy private prison cos behind cruel, inhuman ICE detention at Dilley, Delaney Hall and more.
Other banks cut them off.
Citizens should too or they’ll lose more customers (like me & @paulthedogman.bsky.social)

It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly

Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way

Anne Hathaway bought the rights to a novel about a tradwife influencer who wakes up in 1855 and has to actually live the life she's been selling online. The book is called Yesteryear. It came out 3 days ago. The film rights were already sold to Hathaway, who will produce and star.

Holy shit, I have NEVER been more excited for a movie.

I’ve been saying for years she deserved an Academy Award nomination for Avatar and every time I do folks look at me like I’ve lost my mind but I stand by it, what she does in that movie is amazing

Rockwell guy standing up painting

This chair is uncomfortable.