I know some of you from the old country*

*Twitter

help i think i accidentally packed my will to live. and it's the only thing ive been able to pack so far. youd think this would make it easy to retrieve, but no, it's actually been incinerated and also lost

except dont because we are disgusting and gross and should not be seen until we have showered and put on something not pyjamas for once but we wont be doing that bc i'm punishing us for some fucking reason unbeknownst to me

reading this back like yikes buddy are u okay. the answer is no. someone get this guy a real human interaction

havent left bed today....u know its bad bc i cant even bring myself to go out for a smoke....thanks depression

i'm so fucked lmao i cant afford to pay two rents for may fuck my landlord and property management this is bullshit

Troutman @robotrowboat Boss: Let's put this matter aside for the time being Me: [looking around nervously] Can only you see the time being? Boss: Huh? Me: Is it standing near me? Boss: Who? Me: [on verge of panic attack] The time being 6:33 PM 06 Jan 18

This damn post has absolutely ruined my brain every time I hear someone mention "for the time being." Major kudos to the poster, if I ever meet you in person I will congratulate you and then punch you in the face.

A post showing a rottweiler mother sleeping on a human bed with her little puppies scattered all over it. They look like tiny sausages chaotically orbiting one big sausage. Below is the text "Let's go all over the fucking place with mama".

#Artemis II - We have the first image from yesterdays Lunar flyby captured by the crew on Orion

EARTHSET.
April 6, 2026.

Humanity, from the other side. First photo from the far side of the Moon. Captured from Orion as Earth dips beyond the lunar horizon.

🚀🌕🌍

ohhh we've got some stone-cold stunners, folks
images.nasa.gov/details/art0...
images.nasa.gov/details/art0...
images.nasa.gov/details/art0...
images.nasa.gov/details/art0...

so no coffee? :(

did u find out?????

IF YOUR TRUCK WAS MADE WITHOUT NUTS AND YOU PUT NUTS ON IT THAT TRUCK IS TRANS I DON'T MAKE THE RULES SNOWFLAKE IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM TAKE IT UP WITH GOD

it also has this one

hey uh. fuck taxes. am i right

is that a single blueberry sur ta poutine???

my limp bizkits tumblr post from 2017 is about to have "100,000 Notes" on tumblr. lets clap about it 👏 👏

FINALLY i can't wait to watch goncharov again

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he would want me to smoke 10000 cigarettes about it. i know this in my soul

i really am jods bravest soldier

jk hotels are too expensive. they lured me in with "10$/night" so i was like wait 3 nights for 30$ until u click on it and realize that with taxes and fees it's over 500$........rip in piss

ive exhausted my list of pals and now looking into hotels lmao fuck my stupid baka life

THANK YOU i'm so happy i dont have to message all my new manager friends and be like sorry i cant be ur ops guy anymore bye good luck

SOCIETY: no more AI pls & thx

CORPORATIONS: we are pleased to announce KETCHUP 2.0 which is exactly like the regular ketchup you already know and love but it's powered by AI somehow which makes it better and it costs $79 per bottle

WE STAY WINNING (employed in a role i love that is now Officially permanent!!!!!!)

i did not jinx it in fact! now i can reveal that my original tweet meant to say "i have a bad feeling about this" but turns out it was GOOD!!!!

NOT ONLY GOOD NEWS BUT THE BEST NEWS POSSIBLE ACTUALLY !!!!!!!

i dont wanna jinx it but * **** * *** ******* ***** ****

hi mr bossman my entire life is hanging in the balance may u please tell me please !!!!!!