WHILE EATING TOFU!!! drop and give me oral

like, yes, all my jobs but look i just made a perfect CSV file that a LMS took THE FIRST ROUND no edits necessary no secret spaces fucking my data up NOTHING . queen shit! gimme a raise!

i am always so surprised at how good i am at my job

shout-out to this lyft driver playing 90s hits. i haven't heard jagged edge's Good Luck Charm in a hot minute

fr bro idfk what i did but my left shoulder from my collarbone, over the shoulder, and down my back under my shoulder blade (my lat?) ACHES dude. what the hell. how do i gently rehabilitate this?

my favorite is when people just ask for things, ask it wrong, then don't understand a clarifying question. most "i was just following instructions" ass coworkers i got stfg

i hurt myself carrying groceries somehow wtf is this shit

I think the thing that pmo the most about billionaires is the businesses they own. bc why tf is there only one pharm tech but two registers and a line for rx damn near out the door? bc the dude who owns Walgreens needs a superyacht? orcas, drown him

something happened and now i'm dating two people whoops

my ex drove past me when I was out with a friend and I pointed and dry heaved

I respect myself

gin shits smell like malort. they do. ask me how i know. i fucking dare you.

yikes i have fallen in love with a beautiful woman at the bar

the way this job drains the dopamine from me christ

i looked at the photo and said the said almost exactly the first sentence you wrote in this article out loud

me: this year my birthday will be Shrek themed
introvert friend: wha-
me: last year it was zoolander and I was zoolander in the mines
if: ...you're chaotic
me: and the year before that it was twilight themed-
if: omg
me: and i was baseball alice
if: (short circuits with laughter)

season 6 of mha and I can confidently say it's my favorite anime of this generation and I wanna look and fight like mirko

7min half mile!! bitch let's go!!!!

i love telling people no at work

yo anyone know anyone in Chicago who needs a spot to live starting in August? My roomie is moving in with his gf and I'm not looking to move, haha

i am not catholic but when i tell you I am proud to be a chicagoan

in the adhd cycle of "no energy to get up to eat but need to eat for energy but has no energy to get up to eat" plz km

"Why don't Americans-" The ruling class of America has intentionally disempowered its citizens spread across 3,000+ miles of land and then funded the police force as an occupying army that happily murders anyone who opposes them and imprisons whoever is left as slave laborers. So phone calls it is

everything is so terrifying and we still gotta hold onto hope. whatever happens tonight we do.

call your reps. delay filing your taxes. do what you can. no one's gonna save us, it's gotta be us

hey so if this president nukes a country we should not file our taxes and he should be thrown in jail

nothing is more affirming than feeding someone and watching them fall in love with you a little bit through your cooking

ok, track run went as well as I expected (the last two scenes are a mess)

lmao all my exes are obsessed with me and it gives me so much fucking power lmfaoooo

like fr it is easier to walk away from things that piss you off than stand in it and demand change

but punk is "i love this, and i'm mad as hell, and i'll fight to fix it" and i'm punk, yo

just sent the toughest email of my career.

it was not a resignation email.

holding people accountable, alone, is very hard but very necessary.

speak, even when your voice shakes.