Any D&D player who’s playing as a bard, learns Fireball, and doesn’t cast it by playing the Pitbull song is doing it wrong.

I need someone else to put on Netflix and watch “Eat Pray Bark.” My thoughts on it are not nuanced but I need a social media buddy to receive them.

Rizo decides not to bother looking for a hidden advantage because everyone else is, and odds are slim. I’m thinking “this is how it would be for me on #Survivor.”

Camera pans to the advantage, three feet from his not-bothering-to-look ass, & I’m thinking “this is DEFINITELY how it’d be for me.”

I literally laughed out loud at this. Well played, Andy.

🤣🤣🤣

Hot take, but Probst has never brought me as much joy as he has this season now that he’s letting his freak flag fly.

Don’t tell anyone but that’s how I watch it every week.

It is a perfectly fine and healthy choice to step away from social media AND television for an evening and watch #Survivor tomorrow morning.

It is also fine to not do that if your mental health will suffer more from accidentally getting spoiled, or if you refuse to let that man steal any more joy.

Who y’all cheering for going into the 17-person merge? Personally I’m Team Smarf. #Survivor

Stop auto-playing Amazing Race after #Survivor, Paramount Plus! I’m off the clock!

#Survivor: Angelina, will you come back to play season 50?
Angelina: yes, but on one condition. 🧥🧥🧥🧥🧥🧥🧥🧥🧥

Probst ran out of fucks to give and replaced them with impressions and it is GIVING ME LIFE. #Survivor

I made the mistake of telling my son about Overexplaining Colby and now he is making me explain literally everything in the game as Overexplaining Colby. I’m starting to wish he hadn’t decided he liked #Survivor all of a sudden.

Thankfully the boy is still holding out hope that I’ll take him on Amazing Race in nine years or so.

“Mom, do you think watching #Survivor could be a special thing we do together?”
“…”
“Mom, are you crying?”
“It’s just …I’ve waited ten years for this moment.”
“Since before I was born?!?”

My 9yo suddenly expressed an interest in watching #Survivor so I put on the first ep of season 50 for him. His favorites so far are Jonathan and Ozzy and I’m like, I didn’t raise you to be a damn casual.

Shout out to the random level 72 #PokemonGo player in our neighborhood who jumped in on our raid after my kid and I failed to win a Kleavor raid by ourselves on the first try. Never saw the guy in person but he did us a solid.

Sea Blooms Amazon.com: Sea Blooms eBook : Lane, H.P. : Kindle Store

Happy release day to @foggysunrise.bsky.social, whose cozy urban fantasy “Sea Blooms” is as original as it is adorable. Getting to read it in its earlier form was a genuine delight and I can’t wait to reread it now that it’s out: a.co/d/00NTiti3

The #Survivor reward would have been so much more entertaining if they’d taken the “Gene Kelly hosting the Muppet Show” approach of sending Zac Brown to camp to hang with them, and then having him resolutely refuse to sing or acknowledge his career in any way.

Heal fast!

I believe during season one, the phone call home was an improvised reward when the castaways got actively pissed off that the reward was a single slice of pizza, or something along those lines.

“Do you have to wear clothes on #Survivor?”
“Could you bring a tent/a knife/ candy as your luxury item?”
“What if their family members came out to visit and Jeff was like, ‘surprise, you have to compete in the challenge’?”
“Can you vote for Jeff?”
He isn’t sorry he asked yet, apparently.

My 9-year-old son keeps asking #Survivor questions that he thinks are troll questions but end up devolving into this meme.

In 2004ish my roommate’s improv coach was @paulscheer.com. I vaguely recall attending his birthday party. Had I known he was a #Survivor fan I could’ve made my presence there 600% less awkward.

Obvs 2004 Jess & 2026 Jess are equally jazzed to hear him podcast with @robcesternino.bsky.social.

Jodie Foster in the 1997 film ‘Contact,’ wearing a formal gown with a burgundy velvet bodice

After looking at a display about Vega at the Museum of Natural History this afternoon, I talked the offspring into watching “Contact” with me and maybe I’m just of a certain age, but for my money this is still the greatest dress in cinematic history.

I adore this show.

I’m saying!

Christian is following in the giant, emotive footsteps of Eliza Orlins in the realm of outsized facial expressions. And so far he’s carrying the torch admirably. #Survivor

Bad idea: targeting Cirie because she’s an amazing player Good idea: working with Cirie because she’s an amazing player who’s never won, but people who work with her definitely have

I think everyone’s looking at this wrong. #Survivor

Why I would be bad at #Survivor: my reaction to a random dude pitching an alliance by giving me a list of all the ways I’m playing badly would put a target on me at best and would get me ejected from the game at worst.

Google AI is turning into that dude on your Facebook friends page who sees your request for a personal recommendation and copy-pastes the top Google result without considering if that’s something you’ve already tried.