I want that incredible poster for my gym.

True actual fact: If you ask for a semicolonoscopy, they split the whole procedure into two parts.

Believing Trump's explanation means the listener also believes that he is so stupid he'd look at that meme and think "doctor" and not "Jesus."

That's Donald Jesus Trump, obvs.

"Looking good out there, kid/sport/boss/old-timer! You really rocked that last race. Think you're ready for the next challenge?" Repeat 2000x.

Behold how yon booty doth grapple its britches.

a loading circle with a black circle in the middle on a white background ALT: a loading circle with a black circle in the middle on a white background

That microphone is there like this...

Mom: "I'm so proud of you honey."
New Marine: "Thanks mom. OK guys take her away."

On what planet would this happen?

"It will be the president's determination." -- Pete and Donald playing hot potato now

The best open-world video game bereft of joy? Sign me up.

You heard nothing here first.

I worked at Software Etc. and was tasked with selling QuickBooks to small business owners who were, like, dads. "Let me explain to you how this software will solve your problems which I have no understanding of, I am 19 lol"

"When you awake [....] you won't wake up at all!" is some White Goodman level villain-speak.

It's gonna appear on his annual performance review, that's for sure.

The kids are excited for the Nonna Giuseppe meet-and-greet.

That's how it works at Build-A-Bear Workshop, too.

All you need is the core rulebook, some dice, and this entire deck of all the shit that can wrong with your musket.

Do they know you're there? 😶‍🌫️

Hollywood power-couple name: "Riggy"

Fall is what you get if you crossed the Old Testament with stackoverflow. Definitely not his most accessible, but I don't think it could be accessible and be what it is. I think about that book all the time.

Did you know: Cowdoy is played by world-renowned character actor Broben Kelly.

I am convinced Scott Bessent is Will Ferrell doing a bit.

Lived in LA, DC, Baltimore for decades. Number of body bags witnessed: literally zero

He's doing The Weave.

I called him "Sandon Branderson" ONE TIME and now I can't say his name correctly forever.

Check out how he escapes into his special CEO trap door.

Ooh here's mine: start running, get up to top speed, skid on my knees for 5 meters, then go directly to the hospital for surgery and 6 months of physical therapy.

None compare to the ... Chop Chop.

This looks like the recruiting line for the Rebellion.