Trump, April 17: "THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ IS COMPLETELY OPEN AND READY FOR BUSINESS AND FULL PASSAGE"
Trump, April 17: "Iran has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again."
Trump, April 21: "the Strait of Hormuz is BLOCKADED and totally controlled by the U.S."
So basically, you're looking for someone with, um, a very particular set of skills
As a thought experiment, how far would Trump's approval ratings have to fall before House Republicans began actively putting distance between themselves and Dear Leader? 25%? 20%?
I thought Republicans *want* population booms to fizzle! What do they think "reverse migration" means?
The real reason:
Forty years ago tonight, Geraldo Rivera held TV audiences spellbound for two hours, unveiling "The Mystery of Al Capone's Vaults." He had a medical examiner on hand—in case the vault contained bodies!—and IRS agents to handle the millions of Capone dollars that would surely be stacked in piles.
“It’s unclear what exactly the United States has proposed or what the president would be willing to accept.” No doubt Trump’s people will characterize this vagueness as yet another example of Dear Leader’s dealmaking genius rather than his having no idea what he’s doing
Alphabet St.
Little Red Corvette
7
The Question of U
Sign ‘o’ the Times
@ddale8.bsky.social: "Whether he has been deliberately deceiving the public about the Iran war or has been repeatedly uninformed or misinformed about it, the frequency of his falsehoods has made it impossible to rely on his statements about what Iran is supposedly saying behind the scenes."
I remain fascinated by the “most transparent president in history” boast. Trump knows nothing, loves to talk, blurts out whatever words sound good to him in the moment, and is furious when anyone points out that those words contradict words he said a few minutes earlier. Transparency!
Fox News screenshot: "Ivanka Trump's latest dress selection has liberals seething with anger"
Meanwhile, on Fox News, this. I spend all day on Bluesky—I think I'd know if Ivanka had liberals seething with anger
Based on this BROADCAST NEWS scene, I always assumed that there are, as Albert Brooks suggests, ten Cabinet members. But at the time, there were eighteen! Biden had twenty-five! And Trump has twenty-two. Still four women left. For now. He probably can't name them either.
Victor Juhasz FTW
With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.
We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.
Please stand by for more.
I've been thinking closer to Trump's former home
How Hard Was Today’s Connections? SOLVE RATE 36%: Exceptionally tricky compared with recent Connections Only 8% had no mistakes—including me!
I would brag about this on Facebook if I were still on Facebook
(TBH it didn't seem all that tricky)
"The latest demand . . . came from Harmeet K. Dhillon, the assistant attorney general who oversees the Civil Rights Division and is widely viewed as auditioning to replace Pam Bondi as attorney general."
This kind of line is getting awfully common among ambitious Democrats, and it has stopped bothering me: Since almost no one uses such esoteric activist language in real life, publicly cautioning the party against it feels like gentle vice-signaling rather than actual hippie-punching.
No doubt he'll be responsible and take the inquiry only as far as the evidence leads, with no prejudgments
The Bigger Short: When the Levee Actually Broke
That was my first question too! A cardboard box or wheeled trash bin would be more appropriate but not exactly supportive of the almost-human vibe for which they're clearly aiming
Trump aiming to establish precedence for his own induction into the halls of fame of every sport he watches and is convinced he *could* have played professionally if he'd felt like it
Politico headline: "‘Big sigh of relief’: Republicans finally get some good news: The trick now, Republicans say, is keeping the distractions to a minimum." CNN headline: "Iran closes the Strait of Hormuz after US 'breaches of trust'"
Politico, 7am
CNN, 7:45am
life comes at you fast
