I have heard ranch called American sauce by European visitors.

I had the same issue last week and finally just poached the effin things in a light syrup. That made them much better.

WTH?!

Wait, you got time off to be on the student council? We had to do it before/after school.

Monday commute playlist:
Rancid-Time Bomb
Misfits-Last Caress
Lou Rawls-You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine
George Macrae-I Get Lifted
Time-Cool
Time-Jungle Love
Nine Inch Noise-Came Back Haunted
Massive Attack/Tom Waits-Boots on the Ground
Panda Bear/Sonic Boom-Graveyard
Lil Wayne-A Milli

Considering he has four DWIs, it is not surprising you would find him in a bar. He’s terrible at being a Senator too.

My husband collects antique sewing machines and yes, this would trigger him. (I wont show it to him because I don’t want to hear the ranting.)

It was difficult to find “dumb” appliances when we remodeled our kitchen two years ago, but it was worth the effort. I didn’t want the oven to be bricked because of a failed firmware update (that happened to a friend). My fridge does NOT need to be connected to the internet!

Chocolate French silk pie in a flaky pastry shell topped with swirls of bourbon whipped cream, chocolate curls, and cacao nibs.

When you are known for bringing homemade pie, you get a lot of dinner invitations (I think they like me, too.) French silk chocolate pie with bourbon whipped cream.

A silky silver tabby is sitting on the corner of a bed looking handsome AF.

Dorian Gray says it’s not so bad, akshully.

💯

Post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet:

Anyway, very telling that for them, "growth" does not mean "pay more people," but "pay specific people more." The layoffs will come whether they make money or lose it, no matter the quality of the work, so why fucking bother.

Dammit, I was downtown tonight for happy hour and I forgot to be afraid. I even talked to a stranger walking his dog. Guess I must be crazy.

Any woman with deep knowledge in her career field can relate to the pope - we have all experienced some mediocre white guy with five minutes of experience explaining how we should do our job.

Did you Google the service number or pull it off of a bill? A lot of scammers are paying for their numbers to come up in Google searches for legitimate companies.

Slingshot and rotten plum tomatoes.

Owning cats will make it look like you don’t clean up after yourself.
Why has there been an envelope in the middle of the living room floor for the past two weeks, you ask?
Because it’s his favorite envelope, that’s why

Big Daddy Kane

Want 2 free tickets to see rap royalty Big Daddy Kane this Fri. (early show) at the Dakota? Hit repost for a chance to win!

Must be something about funeral home executives – there was one where I used to live whose name was Richard Long, and yes, he went by Dick.

A 6 is being generous.

WU-TANG FOREVER and ever in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Forever

Ugh. As a member of the generation (and too old to pass for millennial), I hate this. Too much adoration of Alex P. Keaton and Red Dawn, I guess. It’s embarrassing to be in this cohort.

It’s difficult to believe someone could be so dense.

Pope YouTube video by Prince - Topic

Good morning, everyone:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKRR...

I moved here in Dec. 2008 - looks like I'm due pretty soon.

GenX erasure

their own... PERSONAL... Jesus?

They can toss a tin can with people in it all the way round the moon so it lands in a predetermined spot and be waiting there for it when it comes back down but they can't tell you what your prescription insulin will cost this month when you go pick it up

6-7 was sitting right there and you missed it!