The Venn Diagram of people who are funny/clever and people who are on Threads but not Bluesky is a pair of cartoon buttcheeks.

Is there any more disturbing phrase in the English language than “wedding-related group text”? This wedding is in October 2024 🙃

Darkened stadium with a spider web on a large screen in the back. The lights shining into the crowd are green on the bottom and yellow on the top. A six-person band is on the stage.

Saw The Cure tonight and cried a lot. My taste in a lot has come and gone, but I’ve loved them deeply since I was a kid. All of the gratitude and big feelings about seeing them again (after all the things that have happened) couldn’t be contained, so they came out my eyes.

Aging is wild. One day you’re wearing UV body paint and taking mystery shots out of a test tube and the next you’re getting Big Dopamine from re-organizing your nightstand drawers.

I really expected dystopia to be more stylish

On the first day of Pride Month Natasha from The Ultimatum has me in 3 of her Instagram stories. I’M DEAD.

After two years of learning metalsmithing, I’ve decided that it’s time to start documenting my progress and eventually selling work. If you are so inclined, give me a follow on Instagram! instagram.com/skunkpaw

Help I have searing wrist pain is this a computer injury?

A recruiter just told me that if I’m worried about passing the drug test to go to GNC and get the purple cleanse. And before anyone asks, no, the recruiter is not a dude named Trent with a hemp necklace and patchwork pants.

I have the same thing and I still laugh every time the doctor prescribes Vitamin D.

Hand holding a pendant made from a teardrop-shaped, mottled marooon stone bezel set on a blackened backplate with radial embellishments and a large jump ring on top.

Work in progress! The stone is a mushroom jasper found and cut in Utah by a family lapidary. I had to order some new setting tools and then this beeb is getting a strategic fine sand and a leather cord before I surprise a spooky forager friend with it.

Happy The Ultimatum: Queer Love Day to all my fellow oat milk drinkers.

It’s a common enough occurrence that one of the cats shits while I’m burning my cardamom nut muffin candle that the combined aroma has been named Cardamom Butt Muffin.

Here is me in an ALF costume at Irving Plaza. You’re welcome.

Lmfao with 10 O’s

My password for everything was poop123 for about 5 years and I never had my identity stolen. These thieves are just squares overcomplicating things.

I didn’t choose chaos, but chaos chose me.

Text message that says “Somebody brought your panties downstairs and ‘buried’ their food with it.” next to an indicator for 72 unread texts.

What’s grosser? My cat, or my message-reading habits?

People who do your own nails, what top coat do I need in my life? Looking for something that doesn’t require light curing and is not Seche Vite because that shit is amazing but the last third of the bottle is always too thick to use.

boygenius - the film boygenius - the film directed by Kristen Stewart “the record” is out now: https://boygenius.lnk.to/therecord follow boygenius: website: https://www.xboygeniusx.com merch store: https://www.boygenius.store instagram: https://boygenius.lnk.to/instagram twitter: https://boygenius.lnk.to/twitter tiktok: https://tiktok.com/@xboygeniusx facebook: https://boygenius.lnk.to/facebook spotify: https://boygenius.lnk.to/spotify join boygenius’ mailing list: https://boygenius.lnk.to/emaillist subscribe to boygenius’ channel: https://boygenius.lnk.to/subscribe Music video by boygenius performing The Film. © 2023 boygenius, under exclusive license to Interscope Records http://vevo.ly/saA1wA

Lol “the film” Kristen Stewart directed for boygenius. Specifically part three/the Lucy Dacus dream/“True Blue.”

Playing a disturbingly long game of “hidden smell” against the animals. Somebody definitely peed and no one is telling where.

Anyone who has to kiss him for a film should get hazard pay.

I may not have a job, but as of today I have a Costco membership and a tub of lotion so big I’m sure it will grow mold before I come close to finishing it. 💫

I still fuck with that Tonic song.

I’m just here for the silverware.

a cat paw with gleaming pink toe beans

share to bless by bean

I’m hella late to watching the film but crying because of how someone paints a wall is definitely peak sapphic experience.

Had two great interviews today, but one in particular feels like it could be The One. Wishing with all the things I can wish with.

Hand wearing a sterling silver ring with an amber iris set in the middle.

Hot off the mandrel!

The bruise makeup 😭