My greatest failure in life is that I haven’t surrounded myself with enough people that despise billionaires

Choosing to believe that flags are instead at half-mast for all the innocent people that war criminal Dick Cheney murdered

Whoever decided to domesticate wolves instead of hawks really fumbled

I used to live for crafting a good tweet, but many years have passed since I turned that part of my brain off. Last night I had that itch, & lamented the death of old twitter when a perfect tweet was revealed to me: RIP George Foreman. He’s survived by George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman,

A halftime show featuring a bunch of guys climbing light poles? It’s the Eagles year

My belief is that every Super Bowl halftime show should involve Shakira

This is not what I thought I was signing up for when I chose livin’ da vida loca

I’ve been doing those mysterious drones, as a bit

rip john candy, you would have loved vapes

Im going to lose my mind if CREED does a halftime show today

Tim Blake Nelson, could you not fit any more first names into that lineup?

Whoever designed the first fireplace: thank you

My controversial take is they should start making pyramids again.

Gradually replacing all the wine on my wine rack with various olive oils

A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #618,261, Sid ‪@itsthesiduation.bsky.social‬, joined on Aug 18, 2023"

Adding this to my Apple wallet

Me: *watching my own child do something questionable*

Also me: Someone should really tell that kid to stop

This guy is Agent 47 of posting. Headshots and nothing but.

goddamn right kd

Imagine being the first person to see a big beautiful wooden horse, left behind on the field of battle by your retreating enemies

You don’t truly know someone until you’ve smelled their house

Scientists believe we could be just years away from discovering the opposite of "anti-fascist".

Harris will win 500 electoral votes if she gets on the white dudes call now and promises us a new Master and Commander movie

Dave Chappele as Rick James KNOW THE WORK RULES Fuck your couch AWWW.YOU'RE SWEET. APPROPRIATE JD Vance Fuck your couch HELLO, HUMAN RESOURCES?! INAPPROPRIATE

If I recall correctly, it’s about getting your steps in

Does Nancy Pelosi know how old she is?

I don’t know what’s going to happen with the election, but I do know history is going to blame everything on the Millenials

'Defying his 39 years' - 1982

DADDY-O

The toddler just brought glitter into our bed, in an effort to test the limits of unconditional love

The Tour de France is in Orleans today, or as we in America call it: “Old Orleans”