This hit my nerdish sweet spot 😉

Moray eels are the Gary Buseys of the oceans

Ftr I have never sung, sha-la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la tee-da

Not today, got monkey finger

a man talking on a phone with the words " oh there 's just one more thing sir " below him ALT: a man talking on a phone with the words " oh there 's just one more thing sir " below him

Happy Columbo Day!

Life hack: never light up a room, you’ll just end up the subject of a Dateline episode

Yay! I’m finally old enough to pretend I can’t hear

Love The Smiths

How Soon Is Now - The Smiths

Me irl

The only thing I fear more than the government shutting down is the government staying open

I mean, cmon

I always have drugs on me to get to meet drug sniffing dogs

hi Sharks, today I’m pitching the bacon g string ❤️

Me: "Sweet dog!”
Policeman: "Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog."
Me: "Still in training, huh?"
Policeman: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Never mind."

Personally, I have always disliked stuff that sucks. And yet, they keep making it

Redrum, I mumbled.

butt chugging NyQuil is still ok

Toe to toe, dancing very close
Barely breathing, almost comatose
Wall to wall, people hypnotized
And they're stepping lightly is how I figure the rapture will go tomorrow

Dance like everyone is watching and throwing coupons at you.

We need waterproof tissue for those crying in the shower mornings.