Million Dollar Secret is just The Traitors for straight people.

At what stage of the pandemic did hotels stop putting bags in their mini trash cans in each room, and, are we convinced that’s more sanitary??? I’m v skeptical.

me: ~falling asleep~
luis: did you take your pills?
me: yep
luis: ALL of them?
me: yep

*wakes up* I in fact took none of my psych meds hahahahahaha, can't trust sleepyKat.

I’ve started using my watch to track my sleep and I stg you guys sleeping 6:30PM - 3:30AM is for WINNERS.

Wow the shit I could say right now.

also if one more man asks me when I suddenly got interested in sports - please see: I was raised in the South, I know more about football than you do, and I live in Philly. NEXT.

GO MOTHERFUCKING BIRDS

#Survivor: All-Stars (2004)

#TheTraitorsUS

oh noooo my nails are too long and I accidentally clicked on my HRs linkedin profile. Hissssssssss

lmao if one more person says they're jealous of my time off for the rest of the year they're getting H O R R I F Y I N G details of my surgery tomorrow. Pls stop.

Honor mode? Honor mode.

oh no I platinumed bg3….what….do I do now?

hmmm is it just me or were the cigna claims people MUCH easier to work with on the phone today than normal...

Truly fuck this guy, do not buy his book. Unless you think Mike Pence saved Indiana from HIV, vaccines aren’t effective, and Trump never claimed to inject bleach. He just said all of that. Truly shocked and disgusted by these people’s lack of integrity.

Jerome Adams fucking sucks.

Back in March I was taking a lyft home from the doctor and my driver asked my thoughts on the election. He went on to tell me his prediction was that Biden would drop out and pardon his son as his last act. I laughed bc I couldn’t imagine it. Touché, Lewis.

LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you're on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up.

Literally everything in my algo falls into two categories right now: arcane or wicked.

We all dreamed about Sol last night, right???

Close enough, welcome back Katurah and Bruce! #survivor47

So we all agree that shot in the dark can die, right?!

when both options start with the same letter so the editors get to Do The Thing >>> #survivor

That would be terrific, and ty for the article below!!

drafting the messages i’m gonna send my coworkers in a few hours once it’s a normal time for them know i’m awake

aw shit y'all, I'm $42 away from my out of pocket max - what are we getting done before May????

ngl New Yorkers are some of the softest people I’ve ever met.

Caroline Vidmar on Survivor US 47, saying, "It's getting shaky now."

The current state of Twitter:
#Survivor 🔥 #Survivor47 🦇

Arcane is so fucking good. Arcane is so fucking good. Arcane is so fucking good. Arcane is so fucking good. Arcane is so fucking good. Arcane

There’s a reason I take public transportation.