I know a guy who was made for this

❤️

y'all, he delivered

just logged on to post that critical update. okay bye love you

saving pictures of Jim Morrison to show my hairdresser

chia seeds give you plausible deniability

gotta say, ChatGPT picked a superb spot for meeting an imaginary soulmate. I was wracking my brain trying to remember where the bench was before the article confirmed there wasn't one

idk what it is with the outlying areas of Santa Barbara County and weirdos but it sure likes to attract them

or maybe all smallish beach towns are like that and I just happen to be particularly familiar with the area

of course it was Carpinteria lmao

yeah this is the scenario I'm thinking of. usually because of either learned helpelessness or just talking out of their ass, or both.

literally the only legitimate use case I can think of is voice sexting, for the replay value

maybe time for a "wow, I just found the speech to text button on my phone's keyboard! it's actually really easy, here let me show you"

it's hard to be clever with both hands tied behind your back

the firehouse is a real buzzkill

the number of bangers I don't post because they involve topics I don't want to get into on this account

the drop-down search suggestions when I type "[term I remember] vs" are a godsend, but it can only help if I actually think to do that before my brain conflates the two

I'm aware that it's serious because it's trivial to look up terms I know, but it's much harder to do a reverse lookup on a concept I can't describe well and don't fully realize is a separate thing, especially when the search results are polluted by a term in the query that gets used a lot

I think I learned the concept of pathological demand avoidance years ago, but somewhere along the way my brain forgot the actual word and I started conflating it with "oppositional defiance." or referring to it as "like, mild oppositional defiance?" because I'm aware that ODD is much more serious

I CAN flare my nostrils though. so take that 😤

manifesting the former for you 🤞🏻

I'm trying in a mirror rn. it works better if I start with a half-smile and then tilt my head a little, but I think if I were to try to do it in situ I'd be thinking about it so hard that I'd look like a deer in headlights. like 😳😉 but with the mouth the same

tangent but I was also reminded recently that I can't frown. my mouth doesn't curve downward hardly at all. like :( is more curved than my mouth can go. I'm like :|

in fact I think I specifically associate winking with cartoons

maybe it's like cocking an eyebrow. the sort of thing that only looks good when your facial muscles are set up for it

like it's gotta be pretty rare right? or is there a whole parallel universe right outside my door of people who wink all the time irl, and I just never noticed?

like I remember reading this thread and thinking, "wait, people actually do that? and make it look good?" and now every time someone winks in a book I'm reading I think about it

winking in particular just feels contrived and physically unnatural. I don't think I've winked at someone on purpose more than five times in my life. even as a joke it's just not a thing in my body language repertoire

but that could be a me thing. we've already established that I'm fuckin weird

not that I purport myself to be any kind of authority on flirting. the opposite, in fact

in retrospect, I'm not sure I've ever known how to flirt

do people actually wink at other people? to like, flirt?

like is this a thing that actually happens naturally in the real world, or is it just a way for authors and Hollywood writers to evoke flirtatious intent in lieu of dragging the audience through hours of dialogue?

like that time my parents paid money to name a star after me for my birthday

is clapping when a someone drops a plate of food white culture? because I hate that shit

Has our brain tried a GC collection algorithm that doesn’t have a stop the world mark and sweep phase? Could be interesting. Hmu, biology, I’d like less sleep pauses please