Going to make “The Guy Who Drinks Beer from a Can with a Straw” my whole personality
Posts by Zach
Training my neck to wear heavier chains to the club
Put in my two weeks notice. Love to blow up my life a little bit as a treat
Buca di Beppo is still the best name for a cat I’ve ever heard
Eyyy good work!
About time
Vallejo, the Hudson Valley of the Bay Area
Oldest I’ve felt all week: went to a birthday picnic for a zoomer and there wasn’t a single alcoholic drink among >20 people
Come on Google image search why are you failing me
Angelica from Rugrats dabbing
They’ve got Withnail and I at the club now
Bless Pixel Grip for my cunty mesh long sleeve
Learning which of my friends are the real ones based on how excited or scared they are when I tell them “this is the first time I’ve done a u-turn in my life” or “I’ve never driven at night before”
Bird walk was lovely
That’s no shoveler! This is a shoveler!
(I left the “breeding adult” in just for you)
Was Sarah Palin the original office siren? Discuss
Today is the last day that you can repost this image
going to insane spas with my crush in Korea & planning a birding trip with my fave gabber DJ when she's in town - 2026 is really shaping up to be a killer year
Highlights from my crush’s Cleveland spa day:
- cigar case is an OXO storage container next to a bunch tylenol and cheap wine
- big pickle plates
- outdoor lounge just has 3 bandsaws chilling
- platza sign up is a clipboard on a coatrack with pencils in a rusty PBR bucket
Come on over for a hearty meal anytime any time
“After all that processing with the therapists I was dating I really needed that methamphetamine phase to get back in touch with my id”
Hell yeah I therapied my therapist friend. Like, his relationship with his now-fiancé is even more caring and understanding? Come to me for whatever you’re being a little bitch about I guess
I gotta microblog!
she brought me back the best souvenir I've ever received (a pack of gold-leaf-wrapped cigarettes from north korea)
I have been tasked by my ex-friend's sister with buying Korean bras for her massive honkers in exchange for travel recs (she slept with Sky Ferreira's boyfriend while teaching English in Korea and all of tumblr went after her)
b2b (bean to bean)
Putting on a 3 hour DJ Fart in the Club mix to set the mood for my Christmas beans
I was not. Must be some childhood sensory pathways getting crossed
Why did I cum and then develop a deep craving for cinnamon rolls???