Some times I think about the idea of making a google doc of my own titled "Here's all the incredibly fucked up shit people did to me over my streaming years"
Not to make public, but just for those who are close and need to understand my trust issues.
I can't stress how amazing it feels to be able to just randomly drop down and do 10 pushups without missing a beat.
I've been so out of shape and overweight for several years that its genuinely insane to see my body transforming before my eyes
I refuse to let people try and hurt me anymore
I'm not gonna dim my light to feed their insecurities
I'm not going to keep walking away from shared spaces for "their comfort"
I know who I am, I know what I am
I'm allowed to exist
And if people keep testing me, everyone will know who they are too.
I've said it before and I'll say it again
I don't mind if someone doesn't jive with me or just straight up don't like me or even hates me.
What I don't like is how some folks have attempted (and succeeded in some cases) of pushing me out of friend groups out of malice and poisoning wells to hurt me
I think something I'm gonna change when I come back to streaming is having a far shorter tolerance of people's cruelty towards me.
I've given some folks way too much grace time to move on from me only to still hear rumors, lies, and whispers being said about me in bad faith for years.
>watching a commentator you like getting cooked alive because he promoted a biased story and mishandled it
>Watching him crash out on people and completely mishandling the backfiring.
dawg you did stories on so many vtuber dramas how did you become victim to the same formula
Digging through all my files, I decided to get my old Nikon camera I haven't used in years
There are still a couple of videos with my mom in them.
When I hear her voice, it's like she never left. I miss her.
Capture every moment you can with your family and loved ones.
Me:
"boy i can't wait to draw all these people that I love and admire and want to support them through art"
My brain:
"Wouldn't it be crazy if they started to hate you for doing it?"
Me:
"W H Y"
My fuckass brain:
"lol, lmao even"
Some chop their hair when they need control in life
I aggressively rearrange my home
.....
I've been making changes for the last 2+ weeks
.....
I also injured my back earlier this week
.....
I am still making changes
.....
Uh oh
With my nonstop anxiety and fear of death
My appreciation for life and it's beauty exploded
I don't want to waste any moments in my life
But god, do I hope I make it to the age old folks get where I am at peace knowing my time is almost up, and I've lived long enough to greet death peacefully
God I love doing doordash.
And now i have platinum status so I get all the good paying quick orders.
Its good extra fun money to save ontop of my job. I hope I can grab the processing position next chance cause DAMN am I getting burned the fuck out being on the phones every day
Seeing some furry artist getting cancelled for using AI and downplaying how it was used.
Like dawg I cannot fathom using AI taking the risk of ruining your entire reputation and credibility as an artist.
The smallest drop of AI usage in the creative process, and might as well drop the pen forever
A little bit at a time. Every day I'll keep trying with art.
I'll study, practice, and make attempts without references
The attempts without references aren't the best
But I need to keep practicing like this, because I don't want to always rely on direct references or copying.
i can't stomach that shit dude it's just foul. There's no amount of online content leverage that could convince me to go back at this point.
Like it is INSANELY dehumanizing in so many levels and just gross. Only thing getting left in there is my name and i'm gonna grab the post history contents and then probably remove the original account entirely.
The state of twitter is so beyond dystopian right now.
I dont understand how a company is literally getting away with creating and implementing a tool that lets you not only alter other peoples photos, but just openly sexually harassing people by undressing them and putting them in porn through grok
Low key I wish artists who stream and do more than just art had an account purely for their art.
I know this is just a me thing, and I aint gonna tell people what to do. Sometimes I just wanna follow purely for the art.
if you ever have any questions on it let me know!
microsoft excel or google excel?
because microsoft excel has an insane level of details and flexible formulas you can create
google excel has the same basic function but lacks a LOT of flexibility and more complicated tools
And with that, my second semester concludes
Third semester starts in January, and I'm excited to keep learning.
If I can land a processing position at work (no more customer service) and being on the phones, everything would be smooth sailing from here on out.
I have learned so much shit for excel, my power to creating spreadsheets will be boundless
One class down, one more to go to finish this semester
If it wasn't for the fact that my job is paying for my studies, I'd be heavily tempted to look elsewhere.
I'm beyond sick of trying to speak with customers and genuinely trying to help them understand only for them to yell and scream because they refuse to listen and just need a verbal punching bag
>doing homework
>get stuck on one wrong answer
>the answer is straight forward
>spend countless time going through the book to figure out why its possibly wrong
>nothing comes up
>i can't move past it
>come back next day
>I was missing a dash to make it negative
How do I score high and be this dumb
God I love how my place always smells like fresh laundry.
I never noticed it before, but it was a common compliment I got from visitors.
And god it's nice to have it again.