House Hunters International is extra infuriating because it's a bunch of Americans bitching about how the houses in a foreign country aren't like American houses.

Why is every couple on house hunters like "I'm Jenna and I work in non-profit relocation of toadstools for frogs to sit under and I'm Chad and I work at the button factory and our budget is 3 million." while also being the most entitled people on the planet?

I like the premise of not having a driver, but all the instances of them blocking emergency vehicles, stopping on train tracks, or generally just stopping in the middle of traffic turns me off.

And the "medical profession" half the time turns out to be a receptionist or other non-clinical staff.

The most annoying group of people who ask about my feeding tube are people who work in the "medical profession" because they think that makes it acceptable to ask a stranger about their medical device. I don't care that you're a nurse, stop asking strangers about their medical devices. It's creepy.

They're testing them out in South Boston and I hope Boston fucks those cars up before they can become active. Also, BOSTON? The city where we have notoriously confusing and difficult street layout that makes no sense. Clearly the shitty robo car is the answer.

Remembering that time I had a political telemarketer called who asked if I was from New Hampshire. I said no, he sighed and said "oh, dang" then proceeded to complain about people from New Hampshire for like 2 minutes with me. As someone from Massachusetts, best telemarketer interaction ever.

@blarion.bsky.social Happy Birthday, pal!

Remember this every time a Reasonable Democrat says we should be onboard with legal/technical measures to stop minors from accessing adult content

Once you create a category of Bannable Speech, you've created a tool for the powerful to ban any speech they want; just put it in the Bannable category.

I love observing online dating. I just saw the biggest red flag of profiles where the person acknowledges all their red flags are red flags and says they want a partner who will just deal with the red flags. Oddly self aware?

Back in my day, if you wanted to smoke weed you went to THE Weed Guy in your area. Accept whatever strain it was, maybe if you're lucky pick between 2 strains. Accepted the price. It was probably dry and mostly stems AND WE LIKED IT. Kids now with their Apple Store looking dispensaries and options.

Ohhhhhhh, THAT'S what a penetration test is. *puts away the strap-on and bad dragon* The Margret Thatcher mask stays on tho.

Gonna want to set up your bathroom nice and cozy for a bit. Bring a charger.

I hate this, take my damn like.

I tried the Marie Kondo decluttering method of "if it sparks joy" in you, you keep it. I have clinical depression so the "sparks joy" part didn't go great and now I'm sitting in an empty apartment.

My favorite part of being left handed is people seeing me write with my left hand and asking, "Are you left handed?".

Remember, the pain of a septum piercing is temporary and costs around $60, but upsetting creepy men and Karen's because "you look like a cow with that thing in your nose" is forever and priceless.

It gives off "They just haven't been with a man like me" and that's gross and really sad.

Cis men: When queer folx explicitly say they want to only be in relationships with someone who isn't a cis man you are not in fact the exception. Stop shooting your shot. It's wildly disrespectful to see someone state they aren't interested in you and then go out of your way to try and hit them up.

Honorable mention: Both subs/bottoms and one gets forced into the Dom roll and ends up resenting their partner

The Relationship Failed "Out of Nowhere" Starter Pack:
-Dating after chatting online for only 2 weeks.
-Uses each other for their sole source of emotional regulation
-Moves in after knowing each other for only 3 months
-absolutely no boundaries with each other
-never met in person before moving in

I really identify with a Ford Pinto. Like the Ford Pinto in a rear end collision, if you slap my ass you will be engulfed in deadly fire.

You've had your multiple year grace period to get over it after learning how terrible JK is it's time.

For Trans Day of Visibility stop consuming Harry Potter media. Fucking get over it. Yeah, it hurts to lose media you liked, but trans peoples lives is a little bit more important than you liking Harry Potter. JK Rowling actively uses the money she gets from to fund and justify transphobia.

Remember, if both parties don't end up laughing after it's not an April Fools prank, you're just being mean or bullying.

The Staples employees and I have come to a deal. If I stop telling them I'm going to drink the printer ink they'll start selling me it again. It's about the small victories, y'all.

Never underestimate the importance of mouth feel when sampling gasoline.

Being cringe is a compliment, you're telling me I hold the power over you to make you feel deeply uncomfortably just by doing what makes me happy. I'm the winner here.

So if you have some toxic dude you know who calls himself an alpha, his whole persona is built on a lie, but that was probably obvious since he's a grown man calling himself an alpha.

Fun Fact: The whole "alpha wolf" social hierarchy of wolves was found to be false. The researcher who wrote the original book, David Mech, realized he was wrong, asked the publisher to pull the book in 1986, but the publisher refused to pull the book until 2022 because it was making so much money.