Love you hon~ c:

You're such a good [noun]!
Yes, you are! Such a good [noun]!
Who's a clever [noun]?
You're doing so well!
What a smart [noun]!
You're the best!
🐾

This joke brought to you as a direct result of a conversation I had with my girlfriend

Her: We should go to Taipei
Me: Why not type B?
Her: ...it's the capital of Taiwan
Me:
Her:
Me: I prefer Taitwo

Puppy implies the existence of Pups A through D

Yarp :3

it was me sorry I posted a selfie and it brought the servers down again my bad

nurei with very fluffy hair sleepily snuggling its favourite blahaj squishywife, whilst smiling at the camera

i'm extra fluffy today 💜

Mutt, pet-toy who'd much rather be under someone else's control but will either get a little feral from time to time or weaponize its sadistic side to get in more trouble

girlfriend that holds you down and hits you until you're crying and shaking and begging her to stop while she just giggles and tells you that she's never letting you get away

I heard they're trying to invent a girl with it/its pronouns who doesn't moan when it gets punched in the tummy. Not sure they've made much progress.

It even feels really good some of the time and disappointing otherwise

Freezing pasta so I can craft a blade from pure bologneseum ingots

Please, please fill this out. And be very clear we DO NOT WANT age verification at all.

A few handy points to discuss:

- Data breaches
- Costs of age verification services affect small companies
- Existence of effective parental controls
- Dangers of giving out identifying information

“Meant for greater things” not in the sense of a successful career or a knight with a duty to uphold but in the sense of a free use doll passed around naked at a party or chained up in a basement

Killing it!

I should be strung up with my wrists chained to the ceiling and being tormented rn 😤

This is the single funniest thing I have ever seen Bluesky staff do.

Dear hypnotized employees

Going forward, any drops in productivity will be punished by time in the Latex Vacuum Sealed Mindfuck Vibrating Storage Chamber. You have been warned.

Regards, management

--

Dear hypnotized employees

Okay, so that didn't work

bsky user: oh hey u guys are back early
server admin: server's haunted
bsky user: what?
server admin: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* server's haunted.

i mean if you look up the lyrics to one last breath or higher and really take them in it could not be any more obvious lmao i was just a special level of oblivious

I yelled back when I heard THUNDAH

it is wild that young me listening to that fucking album on repeat never put together they were a christian rock band

a sub-boss implies the existence of a dom-boss

dinner,,..

many are saying

A girl is a kind of sleepy, huggable object

The possibilities 👀

punch her tummy :3

Cut my dick into pieces
This is my test report

Lots of pleasure, but I'm reeling
Fuck it hurts but I came still bleeding

Making chamomile tea because I am in fact 245 years old

(In dog years)

i'm kind of a lightweight 👉👈