Don't ever get a new computer

=(

John Travolta from 1996 film Michael dancing in New Braunfels' own Gruene Hall

Only going to watch Michael for the dance scenes, not the problematic content

Two. One, Edward Albee (Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe) called me handsome, and two, I overheard a professional cheerleader for the Rockets refer to me as "the hot one".

Nah, fuck that guy

Who?

Yeah, and it's in Sri Lanka!

My 16-yo was just there earlier today. It's funny how every time she's been to the capitol building it's rained.

Ladoo or ladoo not. There is no latry.

If bring back Foghat, greatest Gen X band

It's hard out here for a Plimp

I'd bring back Airplane Legroom

Ah sheet, dat the good stuff, da sweet nostalgia slurp 'n burp

Drinking from the hose. Slurping, slopping it down. Hose water. Drinkin da hose. Da slurpy gurpy. Da streetlight bedtime slippity slurp. Da no davices slip slurp slappin good times of drinkin da hosewater. He-man. GI Joe.

Yeah! Take that, Texas!

Ladoo me, baby

If I see ladoo, I eat it. That simple.

Yep.

I only like Queen for the Rami Malek movie

Dayum

And your (royal you) seat, now riding empty, was a seat someone else could've purchased. You (royal you) just deprived another person of a flight if the plane was full, which they usually are. An act of selfishness that could be keeping families apart.

They made a truck for your mom

Holy shit

Dat pussy wet

9/11, if not an inside job, was at the very least allowed to happen as a pretext for war and the W admin was totally unprepared for the level of damage that would actually be inflicted

Lmao whatever man

"Who's Lee Cronin?"

"You know, director of Lee Cronin's The Mummy"

"Oh, that Lee Cronin. Got it."

Our parents fuck us up no matter how we've been raised. At some point we have to take responsibility for our own actions, and stop blaming other people

Life is a grand mystery ¯\_(ツ)_/¯