AAAAAAAAHHHHHH

You have to read this. Firsthand affidavit from one of the women who was there and recording the video. She talks about how Alex Pretti was directing traffic when she arrived. She watched him be killed in front of her. She's afraid to go home, worried she'll be arrested.

I’m about to be the world’s first ethical billionaire.

I’m inventing a wrist strap specifically for car keys. I wonder how many horror movies I can prevent from happening just because no one needs to drop their keys under the car while trying to make a quick escape. I’m saving lives with a fashion accessory.

Tuna of the Land. Billion dollar idea.

Hi sharks, I’m asking for $20,000 for a 0% stake in my business of owning every @farmriooficial.bsky.social dress and sweater…

“Will you still like me if I sing Sugar Ray at karaoke?”

My Jedi name is Quinine Gin.

Frances McDormand is the Meryl Streep of acting.

Today I’m asking the important questions, like “how many pairs of earrings is too many pairs of earrings to bring for three nights of camping?”

I think nine starts to push it.

OK has term limits and old boy knows he’s not winning a higher office. He’s going private sector after this shit’s up.

You can never fail if you never stop trying. BRB, gotta scream some stuff at the sunset.

Cannas are hardy in most places anyway.

Anyone who is as immature as I am should immediately look up the population of North Korea on Wikipedia.

Thanks. I’m really okay. Not feeling a lot of anything.

Tomorrow is my brother’s birthday, but today my brother died. What a weird day. What a strange feeling.

Ozzy Pours The Perfect O.J. YouTube video by M. Revolver

The actual best Ozzy Osbourne moment, no matter what anyone else says.

All I’m saying is that everything has been kind of downhill for this country since tutti frutti stopped being used as a flavor.

NWA always ails what cures me. ❤️

Oh I’m not feeling remotely apathetic.

Not anymore, anyway.

I just found out my brain has a nihilism setting! Cool!

This is obsession and it’s not healthy.

I for one would have loved this in high school, because my religion hates organic chemistry so much that our religious texts never even mention it.

I think the lady from the Capital One commercial is proposing a threesome and I kind of want to see where it goes.

I love my student body president lawyer so much

I just said “check out this Kurt Braunohler looking motherfucker” on the street about Kurt Braunohler, so that’s how my Friday is going.

“I think his legacy is not going to be an EV or putting rockets into space. I think it’s going to be unnecessary death, disease & disability.

That's not what it means to be an innovator, that's not what it means to be an American, that's not what it means to be a man"
~Scott Galloway
#ElonMusk

That’s it. I’m investing in Theranos.

Not the MBRTNERS?