Pathetic. Weak. You were never strong. You will always be nothing. You fool.

And then you cried in the pouring rain. Hunched over in the dark. You are alone.

I was not

I’m crying at work rn what the fuck is wrong with me

I am strong.

Some transgender people see only darkness in front and behind them.

The current climate is especially accelerating this.

Transgender people just want to love the people they love and live their lives as themselves.
Let's all join hands and change the world🫶🌏🫶

Image of the new Lego Death Star, flat, boring, overpriced

Image of the original lego death star, round, exciting, iconic

1 month HRT / 5 years HRT

The shoebill stork looks like a dinosaur.. 🦖
Such a beautiful looking bird… 🐦

&& this guy like. Regularly kissed his mom on the mouth. I was told she’s technically an adopted or step mom but like she raised him from childhood so yeah that’s just this guy kissing his mom on the mouth. He didn’t show up for a bit so I asked a coworker he tried to date & it turned out he quit.

Got a random flashback to my 1st job in which a younger coworker (like 18/19) was talking creepily about these teens who passed by & when I called him out on it he tried to gaslight me saying I’m weird for think what he said about them was weird. Like I was already mid 20s I didn’t have the energy.

I look good in a sports bra actually…

Bonded with my white coworker over Jollibee this is how the philippines strikes back against white colonialism

Dude. Just go take generational browns at your work. No one knows thats what you’re doing in there it’s cool

Over on twitter, many trans folks are posting photos of themselves 10 years ago and themselves now to illustrate how mych they have changed. I am still quite a private person, so obviously I’m not showing myself there (and won’t here, either). My own take is my retrospective on my journey.

Okay, the thread breaks here for some reason and I don’t have the time to really fix it, but the next part in the thread from here starts with this one bsky.app/profile/enbi...

I can finally say that my heart, my mind, my soul are happy. I am enlightened. I am me. And I love me.

But I firmly, genuinely believe that we will perservere. We have existed before we knew it, and we will continue to exist. I am trans. I am so happy to be trans. And there is no man, woman, or anyone else out there who will ever change my mind or deter me from my feeling.

I love being a woman, being trans, being with other trans people. The love my friends have given me has itself emboldened my love for myself. I get excited to go out, to show the world I am a happy trans woman. I know in broader societal attitudes, my trans brothers and sisters aren’t doing too hot.

Just yesterday, it was the same. Threw on my skirt, only got “she” and “her” and “miss”. I am feeling truly euphoric now. I am so excited for what I will become later on in this journey. I am so happy to have people I love witness the path that I’m on. I am not religious at all, but I feel blessed.

I’ve also presented myself in more feminine clothing. Earlier this month, I wore a skirt for the first time. Not a single time did anyone call me “sir” or “dude” or “bro”. It was all “miss” or “ma’am”. This is something I have only dreamed of. But now, it is as real as the love I have behind me.

Recently, I took a good look at myself in the mirror after I showered. For the first time in a literal decade, all I could feel about my body was happy. The HRT is making itself more evident in me, I don’t even weigh as much as I thought I would. I feel comfortable in my own skin. And I could cry.

Today, I am filled with so much love and hope. I have made even more LGBTQ+ friends, and now I’m presenting myself more femininely. It is so, so freeing. I feel so light, so full. So alive. And it is bc of the work I did to make this happen, the support of my closest friends. They are my family.

In the time that I would work on myself in this way, I had branched out to bettering myself in others. I started having a better attitude, more hope, putting myself out there more. Eventually I became more comfortable in my skin. There was still much work to do, but a lot has already been done.

It was hard, giving people I loved and trusted that kind of space. But they needed it, and so did I. Their love and friendship never truly wavered, though. They firmly believed I would be better one day, and I owe it to myself to believe in myself, too. And it has been really paying off.

As happy as I was to have started, I had. Issues again. Again, not delving into here, but it was bad. Very, very bad. I had to put distance between myself and people I loved, for their sake bc I had scared them a lot. But also to put in the work to better myself, work that I still do today.

October 2024 comes by, 5 years after my last job started, I would then start a new one. It was bearable and they worked me like a dog. But I knew it’d be worth it one day. And it was. In December, I was finally able to start HRT with finances to back that up. A bit of a ways to get it, but I got it.

Late summer that year, I had developed… more difficult issues. Ones that I will not delve into here, or ever on a public space. The people who need to know, know. It was so hard. My feelings had swelled up to extremes. But, I had a friend who was there for me. With no hyperbole, they saved my life.

It was still a hard journey, however. Hope was fading more in 2024, and at some point, dysphoria and hopelessness consumed my mind. Will I ever be able to start HRT? Will I ever look more like the woman I want to be? I was so unsure, and I felt like I had wasted the past 4 years.

By 2023, my feelings about my relationship with gender had been so strong. I didn’t feel *as* hopeless; I knew that eventually I would land reliable enough income to be able to really start transitioning. I had already lightly started with clothing, but the big goal here was HRT.

Over the years I got to know those people more, seeing and meeting and talking to even more fellow trans people. One of which I even developed a pretty tight bond with over Sonic, with a little bit of Bionicle in there, too. As time went on, I opened myself up more, since people were trusted here.