Daughter learned how to send a slinky down the stairs and made me take a video

Most Americans: I’m going to die working this job 😞

Members of Congress: I’m going to die working this job! 😃

misidentified Netflix descriptor screen: text says "tidying up with Marie Kondo" and photo is a person with an assault rifle in the desert

seriously, get rid of your crap

Margo Martin @MargoMartin47 X.com Congratulations, Georgia Women's Tennis! The photo shows Trump and five white dudes in red ties standing in front of and completely blocking 10 young women

Priceless post from the official White House social media

There’s real precedent for important bodies of water that are “open”.

Arnold showing his class his ferret from Kindergarten Cop.

And to you.

Happy Earth Day

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS BATTER

This looks like the most important and prescient film of my lifetime.

Anthropic investigates report of rogue access to hack-enabling Mythos AI ‘Handful’ of people allegedly gain unauthorised access to model adept at detecting cybersecurity vulnerabilities

"Rogue actors have breached the Mythos protocols, potentially giving them access to all the world's software vulnerabilities" is the kind of problem that by all rights should be solved by Tom Cruise sprinting through an airport

Yeah. I know problems are relative, but it’s definitely the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone.

Speaking of vegetation violence, I’m pretty sure that cold snap and overnight frost on Monday murdered every single one of the hydrangea I planted. 😞

The Fuckery Continuith

October 31st / November 1st

Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

I get it. Ours is a “down draft” which means that it barely vents and I’ve been accused of stinking/smoking up the joint. I think that’s part of the reason I grill so much instead.

All of us in unison as if you just walked in and made our favorite bar a little bit warmer just by being yourself: “NORM!!!!” ❤️

Grill is the clear choice imo. You can griddle inside.

Maryland, you get over here this instant and say something nice about your sister Virginia.

king

a terra cotta pot/or/amphora, but it literally has legs

how your email finds me

I had a friend in college who had a retriever named Otis. Otis' thing is that you would huck a rock into a lake, he'd dive after it, then bring you back a different rock. He would do this for hours until it was too dark to see.

Otis, my man.

🌲what a bunch of assholes🌲

Marylanders would sprinkle Old Bay on this and try to eat it, thinking it was already deep fried.

I’m going to start saying “it was a different time“ about things that happened last week

“That was ages ago.” (last Thursday)

Oh to travel back in time with three (3) other friends just so you could enjoy a little Gardening At Night and some Gyros.

We have to stay strong, together.