My doctor: Do you engage in any physical activity?

Me: Does sex count?

My doctor: Yes, sex counts.

Me: Then no, none at all…

Miss Sloane gets a solid 9/10 from me. Jessica Chastaine 10/10 for dominating the screen!

What are your films with this score out of 10.

Keen to see the answers and hopefully get some new films to watch!

Media reports show that people in Dubai wouldn’t understand the humour of the Flintstones but I know for a fact that the people of Abu Dhabi do…

Will anybody cry when he dies (other than the people making a financial killing off of his presidency?).

I’m afraid we can’t hang out if you’re gonna cry when they put us in handcuffs!

On our way back home to Somerset from our home in SoCal.

How focussed am I, I hear you ask?

Well…

I’m easily distrac

Dinner then PJs then sleep. See you all on the flip side!

Whoever said technology will replace paper has never tried to wipe their arse with an iPad…

I remember going to Blackpool for my holidays and I went on a donkey.

Took me 26 days to get there…

I am a bit posh… just ask @nigel-hewlett.bsky.social !!!

Finally heading back to Somerset which I’m happy to see is nice and sunny!

I’m not saying I drink too much caffeine but I do believe that my body will keep moving 48 after my death…

Spot on Sarah, as usual

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him is he still wrong…

If I’m ever murdered, it will be because I said something absolutely perfect to somebody with no sense of humour!

This is my grandsons favourite dinosaur and he is dinosaur mad!

Stormy Daniels says they had an affair.

Donald Trump says they didn’t.

Who are you going to believe…the fake blond with the big tits or Stormy Daniels?

When threatened, the Pipe can spray holy venom up to 25ft..,

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens I’m going to consider it a bloody rescue mission rather than an abduction…

My stepson is currently at Coachella managing 3 acts there

Does anyone know what this is. It’s an extremely hard cased seed pod with many seeds inside it in individual chambers within the pod. It’s almost impossible for us to get into it.

I’ve spent many a fine day in the vineyards of Sonoma and Napa… a big fan of Opus One and Far Niente to name but two!

I always think any acknowledgement is better than nothing. Some people find it very difficult to find what they think are the right words because everything sounds so trite or banal when circumstances are this devastating so they run for cover. I’m sorry for you but know you’ll be a good friend.

My new favourite thing to say to people is “have the day you deserve”…

Trump has personally taken control of the Strait of Hormuz and I’m here for it!!!

Me: I’d like a bottle of wine please.

Waiter: What year?

Me: I’d like it right now…

Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?

Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow…

Some mornings it’s just best to fill your sink up with coffee, dunk your head in and hope for the best…

I tried being normal once.

That shit was awful…