oh............. f........................ they Warned Me.........

OOH okay!! okay cool! i swear it was over 24 hrs this morning but my brain is cheese, there's no way to know. but hell yeah ty!!! new clothes tonight pls

step one is probably getting back into therapy tbh

if i'm wrong my apartment will burn down and my cat will die. and i know that's my crazy brain talking but how do you shake the fear! how!!!!

it's hard fighting anxieties/obsessions/whatever when the potential consequences for not giving into the safety behavior feels so dire. like yeah logically i know charging my switch while i'm at work isn't going to start a fire and i'm reinforcing my fears by avoiding it, but WHAT IF I'M WRONG

they warned me.................

i think it was the night before last that i time traveled and then set the time back before going to bed, and my marketplace is still closed and the clothes shop isn't updating. which is. unfortunate. no daily mii news either. :(

i time traveled once in tomodachi life bc i wanted more miis to be out and about late at night and. like. to be fair. the game DID warn me there could be consequences/whatever. but i figured time-based stuff would reset fairly quick? but. uh. it's not. lmao.

i restocked on hygiene supplies - shampoo, body wash, deo, plus a body spray - and went all old spice this time and i forgot how much gender euphoria i get from smelling like this. it's so dumb but smelling like Men's Cologne Or Whatever makes me giddy

so i'm just gonna do it. yolo. also there's Procedures i want done that i believe i have to be on hormones for doctors to approve, at least in most cases, so gotta get on that

i stopped initially because i lost my health insurance when a previous job had to cut my hours, then i didn't start up again b/c my next health insurance sucked and also i was like 'well i got SOME of the results i wanted so i can stop' but i think part of that second bit was Fear Of Change talking

next week i'm gonna talk to my doctor about starting up hrt again! i've been waffling over whether to do it for ages now but i'm just gonna pull that trigger. let's fucking go!

tomodachi life is good :)

i hate when i eat too fast and my chest hurts like i'm dying because i DO kinda think i'm dying every time

i ain't taking those again i'll just deal with feeling off tomorrow

i have a sensitive gag reflex that acts up when it's meds time, and usually it just means i gag a bunch but tonight it means i took my pills then immediately threw them up. all over my phone :(

This is the single funniest thing I have ever seen Bluesky staff do.

my boss ended up telling me to go home lmao so i'm home and .5 seconds away from crashing the fuck OUT⁰

head hurts and coworkers are talking loudly in the lunch room where i'm taking my break. i wanna go hooooooome

ohhhh the lack of sleep is catching up to me actually

or /theoretically/ i could be sleeping. that's the insomnia's decision right now.

i very seriously considered calling out of work today so i could play tomodachi life and also sleep. i ended up not doing that and like the game isn't even out for delivery yet anyway. i COULD be sleeping though. i've got a Tired Headache.

i SAID. more SLEEP.

more sleep tonight pls

MY COPY HAS SHIPPED I SHOULD HAVE IT BY THE TIME I GET HOME FROM WORK TOMORROW

oh it's an Anxiety Day today, i see

every now and then people find my shitty fic from the early 2010s on my old ao3 account and i have to fight the urge to purge and delete everything. it's an archive and people like them and i hate deleting stuff but god. please. free me. maybe someday i'll just orphan them and be done with it.

i can not get over how good he looks. like that's just ZEX. there he is!!!!

GIVE IT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!