I don’t disagree with your point! But I think there’d be a small knock on effect.

Bluetooth ones run out of batteries tho

its been insane watching mr beast strike deals with and accept money, get on his hands and knees for saudi arabia abd UAE

watch through to the end of this with sound on to enjoy my new vocal stim for the week

It’s too good of a jingle NOT to include a local phone number for an attorney or trade service

the other day a woman was doing her big Sunday shop while listening to a sermon on her phone full volume

this would make being anywhere in public better, instantly. any decrease in the full-volume maniac behavior at all would improve my life and yours

Ant Farm Teaches Children About Toil, Death PASADENA, CA–Wonderco, a Pasadena-based educational-toy manufacturer, unveiled its new Playscovery Cove Ant Village Monday, touting the ant farm as a fun, interactive way to teach children ages 5 and ...

This Onion article is very of-its-time imho ("rewards collectivism over individualism" feels way off in 2026) but that last line has stuck with me since I first read it these long years ago. theonion.com/ant-farm-tea...

darth I don't eat meat anymore but two decades+ years ago I ate so many two dollar stadium hot dogs at at my university's basketball games. you could put your own onions on and I like to pile them high. wrapped in that dimpled food service foil, you know the type

Hamilton, the musical, was state-sponsored propaganda.

got a HUGE audience reaction at the Music Box

perfect description, thank you

The Tim Produce Section

We've been waiting for this project for over a year.

All merch is on The Onion Store: store.theonion.com?srsltid=AfmB...

Story: www.cnn.com/2026/04/20/m...

Sketches of two characters from The Pitt. Santos leans aggressively over a counter while Mel stands behind her sweating and wearing an apologetic smile. Santos says, “she asked for NO pickles.” Mel says, “i-, r-really, it’s fine.” hashtag mentos for life

why do I always fall for this exact ship dynamic

There used to a pop song every year named "Hero" and the chorus was always "You're a hero deep inside / don't ever let your hero hide". But then 9/11 happened, and every pop song was named "Party Booty (Bootyhole Remix) feat DJ A$$crack". And if it isn't true don't correct me.

Oh that's really strange and upsetting!! I'm the kind of nosy person who would email the bookstore about it lol

🟡 ᴾᵒˢᵗˢ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ⁵⁰ ᵗᶦᵐᵉˢ ᵖᵉʳ ᵈᵃʸ ᵒⁿ ᵃᵛᵉʳᵃᵍᵉ
🟡 ᴹᵃᵈᵉ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ³⁰ ʳᵉᵖˡᶦᵉˢ ʸᵉˢᵗᵉʳᵈᵃʸ
🟡 ᴿᵉᵖˡᶦᵉˢ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ²⁰ ᵗᶦᵐᵉˢ ᵖᵉʳ ᵈᵃʸ ᵒⁿ ᵃᵛᵉʳᵃᵍᵉ
🟡 ᵁⁿᶠᵒˡˡᵒʷᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ⁵⁰⁰ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵃˢᵗ ᵐᵒⁿᵗʰ
🟡 ᴺᵒ ᵇʳᵉᵃᵏ ᵍʳᵉᵃᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ² ʰᵒᵘʳˢ ʸᵉˢᵗᵉʳᵈᵃʸ

LOVING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cassian andor being held up against a wall by a big imperial robot

a chinese android just ran a half-marathon faster than any human ever

This cutesy bullshit frame will look sinister in retrospect once video comes out of these monstrosities slaughtering civilians but by then everyone involved in producing this will be happily retired and berating their grandkids that they need to be realistic and major in Applied Torture or whatever

a modern take on the Lockhorns called The Polycruels

Comic. I’m at my desk, leaning over to the doorway, saying “Hey! Foghorn! Foghorn Leghorn! Get in here!” Foghorn Leghorn is walking past the doorway, “Boy, I tell ya, I tell ya, not so loud, boy. What, I say, I say, what d’ya want?” Next panel, I’m gesturing to my computer. “How do I find that really good manga you recommended? It’s an anime now? I keep getting Halloween costumes.” Foghorn leans over my chair, “well, boy, I say, I say, you ain’t typin the entire title.” Last panel, I turn around- “you said ‘witch hat.’ Foghorn gets in my face- “open your ears, boy!! ‘Witch Hat Atelier, I tell ya! I tell ya ‘Atelier,’ I tell ya’”

How I’ve Been Pronouncing It (Feat. Foghorn Leghorn, my… roommate?)

Our Loomis is on it, to try to stop him from overgrooming, but I can't tell if it's helped much.

we've been in this apartment since 2006, which is really great except that when it comes time to move I'm going to have a breakdown lol.

There's a sign up at the grocery store celebrating an employee's twenty years of service. Then I realized I've been shopping at that grocery store for longer than that person has worked at it. 💀

“It’s a frank frazzetta of frank zappa”

screenshot of mark mckinney as don roritor

screenshot of mike myers as dr. evil

once you've worked with lorne michaels long enough you have to do your impersonation of him for the big screen

Oh for sure, I don't blame you at all. I was just goofin. Congrats on your badass kids!

Wow, they haven't aged a day!