Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) Bsky

at least they get to “open wide like a t-Rex”

2 hours ago 36 0 1 1

I dislike how, when you’re an adult, time passes in such a way that it feels like you go to the dentist weekly

2 hours ago 1139 78 36 9

Hegseth to the Troops: We Are Bringing Back the Flu! Grab your cough drops. We’re going to battle.

Wherein @petridishes.bsky.social avers that "Nothing says 'we are ready for war' like 'we all have the flu.'" www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...

3 hours ago 42 2 2 1

Hegseth to the Troops: We Are Bringing Back the Flu! Grab your cough drops. We’re going to battle.

FLU-RAH

3 hours ago 238 43 7 5

every news outlet ought to have at least one Alexandra Petri, I have always maintained! She’s lovely!

3 hours ago 9 0 0 0

nothing weakens your war-fighting capabilities like *checks notes* not having the flu

1 day ago 403 46 11 5

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to Be Declared Honorary Virus The ceremony will feature roadkill hors d’oeuvres, goblets of beef tallow, and a sewage plunge.

enjoy hearing from the secretary today!

1 day ago 228 41 4 4

me too! though after a year or two of wear of the mesh-topped variants my toe invariably pokes a hole in them

1 day ago 3 0 0 0

I had the strangest dream. I dreamed that my shoes—my comfortable, unfashionable wool shoes—were pivoting to AI. "But you're a shoe company," I said. "Just go out of business! Keep your dignity!" My shoes thanked me politely for the great question and then tried to walk me off a bridge. That was how I knew that their pivot to AI was complete. From Allbirds to Allbirds (see, that L is an 1). Maybe I've cracked, I said to myself. Maybe this is the piece of Al news that has finally broken my spirit for good.

www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...

5 days ago 366 48 4 1

3 Southern California residents sentenced in bear suit insurance fraud scheme Three Southern California residents have been sentenced in a bizarre insurance fraud scheme which prosecutors say involved them staging fake bear attacks on high-end cars.

People tried to scam insurance by dressing up as a bear and wrecking luxury cars.

"Investigators then took the video to biologists with the California Department of Fish and Wildlife to also look at the video. The biologists said, 'it was clearly a human in a bear suit.'"

abc7.com/post/3-south...

4 days ago 1091 297 59 126

Tales From Kash Patel’s FBI Some updates to the agency’s portrayal in popular films and TV shows

he seems to have taken this as a challenge

4 days ago 157 16 2 4

I had the strangest dream. I dreamed that my shoes—my comfortable, unfashionable wool shoes—were pivoting to AI. "But you're a shoe company," I said. "Just go out of business! Keep your dignity!" My shoes thanked me politely for the great question and then tried to walk me off a bridge. That was how I knew that their pivot to AI was complete. From Allbirds to Allbirds (see, that L is an 1). Maybe I've cracked, I said to myself. Maybe this is the piece of Al news that has finally broken my spirit for good.

www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...

5 days ago 366 48 4 1