I’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid exactly zero times. It’s funny how this is actually a problem for people.

My hand holding a pink bottle that is shaped like a giant nail polish bottle that says Barbie on it and it has a little tag showing a couple of Barbies on it and it reads "slippery slimy Barbie" There's a brand name on it but it is really difficult for me to read I'm not sure what it says interior department store lighting

Slippery Slimy Barbie is my favorite Barbie

I’m well on my way to clenching my teeth right out of my face and other things I learned at the dentist this afternoon.

I left work a little early because I’m having a DAMN TIME today and stopped on my way home to pick up some emotional support snacks. Standing in line to pay, three of us in a row stared at the drink cooler then grabbed a Zero Sugar Cherry Pepsi. Such a hot item right now, apparently.

It really pisses me off that I can be feeling pretty good but as soon as I get to work, everything goes to shit. Struggling to keep my eyes open. Fighting for my life here.

I went out very briefly but I mainly just played Pokopia all day. I don’t think any video game has ever consumed my life quite to the extent that this one is.

I don’t do fancy makeup much anymore but when I do, I’m always floored by how poor my vision has gotten. I should get one of those magnifying makeup mirrors but also the thought of that is horrifying. I never want to magnify myself.

I listened to this today and LOVED IT

I’m constantly flying off the handle. I am never on the handle these days.

It’s great fun.

Pisces: Your eyes go black and birds fall out of the sky as you smile for the first time in centuries. All is transpiring according to prophecy.

It did! Much to my surprise!

I don’t know why but I’ve never trusted the bike racks on public transit buses. They just don’t seem very secure to me. I’m on the bus to Duncan and someone has a bike in there. We’re hitting highway speeds now. Fully expecting the bike to go flying. I’m invested.

A McDonald’s where the sign has been reduced to McDo.

There is no McTry.

It’s my mom’s birthday on the weekend and we’re meeting up in Duncan for lunch because it’s halfway between us? Ish? Considering the Malahat is a whole fucking thing and it’s basically a straight line from Courtenay to Duncan, it seems fair.

Anyways, I’m excited. Any excuse to get out of Victoria.

Stay in the know, but remember to practice self care and touch grass and seek laughter and whatnot.

Actually that probably would be a good idea, haha

THE AMOUNT OF WATER THEY SUCKED UP WAS INSANE. Like, I couldn’t lift it, it was so heavy. I had to carry it out to the dumpster two or three rolls at a time.

Honestly, Bounty customer for life now. And I no longer store them on the ground.

We’re approaching the one year anniversary of work completely flooding so my low-key PTSD is going off the rails, but I was just reminded of something kind of funny from that as I was wiping down some stuff just now.

I had an open pack Bounty paper towels on the floor, with 10 or 11 rolls left.

being a human is naturally confusing, it's like you're riding in the passenger seat of a car, and you look over and you're also driving, but you can't convince the driver to go where you want, and you are also the car itself

Tweet from Beth McColl (@imbethmccoll): @ my 1st wedding we'll do all the normal shit like flowers & my grandma has a hat on. second time tho probably go nuts. nana got 2 hats etc.

It’s a good thing there’s so Co-op near me because that absolutely sounds like a product that I would buy and consume by the gallon.

The coolest thing about marrying Lennon and/or McCartney is you now get to have a musical career too!

I saw a lot of impossibly tiny and fresh looking babies while I was out. Like they went straight from the delivery room to the mall.

In the words of the fabulous Buddy Cole: “I may have been born yesterday, but I still went shopping.”

BOY HOWDY and GOOD GRAVY MARIE, people sure are extra stupid this week.

My allergies are outdoing themselves. One hell of a show.

I am very cranky.

Fun fact, most catholics get yelled at by the pope exactly zero times in their whole lives but Censures Georg here has managed it like five times in six years

My sinuses have felt carbonated all day, if that makes any sense.

Pisces: Time heals all wounds. You'll be good to go in about 150 years.

What the hell am I going to look at while eating my overpriced Whole Foods snacks now? Lame.

One of those fat pens that has a bunch of colors in it you can interchange with a click

They should do this with eyeliner