i’ve seen 4 angles of the rodeo guy getting run over by a horse and i need to see more them

put it up my ass and fry a tater

me when the phillies win: i simply love it when the birds chirp and the butterflies flit around on their own accord

me when the phillies lose: a bus running me over and progressively crushing my skull with each wheel would be a pleasure

sometimes the shuffalo on the new yorker app is bullshit

that one burner you’re always using on da stove

i know the astronauts would be fine this entire time no biggie

eating breakfast at home: some yummy yogurt and granola 🤗

eating breakfast at a diner: pancakes bacon sausage eggs toast 7 cups of coffee orange juice and 32 ounces of water

i think that the first astronauts on the moon sucked each other off in the lunar lander so they could die knowing humans have sucked dick on the moon

he got the peep hold the poop

devistating indictment

we got da muggie

the ball hit his busch

our ring camera out back before ai: a person is in your back yard (it was me)

our ring camera out back after ai: some fat person is on the pavement and i don’t think they’ve wiped their ass well enough (it was me)

humming on ur nuts

can someone fuckin tell me what Ben has been Folding all these years?

drop the link sweetie

hunca munca speaking to the press after the second american revolution: my EX-husband tom thumb is dead. i killed him. he was dumber than a bag full of oysters.

gifs only

ai stole my shrimps on the barbie and all my VB LONG NECKS ya dog cunts get that up yah

a line break post where anthony kiedis from red hot chili peppers explains to his family and friends during an intervention that he is addicted to the shindig

will the new scrubs reboot make sense if i absolutely despised the original run?

queen’s husband in da car

queen’s husband in da car

i would think it was the narrator

who said the first bit? the narrator or someone else?

see hawks win also see hawks murder baby turtles violently in national tv

when it’s cold it should be warmer and when it’s hot it should be cooler

everything is bad and it also costs money. why have we allowed this.

when people ask me what my favorite song is and i say splashed into serpents by the white octave they think im some psycho freak but the jokes on them im simply emo as hell and i can never be stopped

ephemeral like a frogs desire