is that sooooo

yeah your big dumb henchman may have massive fists but that just means he can't drink juiceboxes

just got back from interstellar space where i fought a fuckin' space armada alongside two green lanterns and a sky god. i was definitely NOT out of my element and i was definitely really cool the whole time

here's a crazy concept: let's take our shirts off and fight

wow that's so interesting *easily defeats you*

hell no. Doctor Nostalgia's next dastardly plan is to start up the bang bus again. he must be stopped

nah man i don't think it's that deep, i think they just want me to bone them

i have decided not to think too hard about how all the villains that wanna defeat me are dudes

I spose but we'll see once the post nut clarity wears off

accidentally made a villain cum by choking him out today. so i'm just gonna quit being a hero forever i guess

hi...

A red squirrel is captured by bandits and tortured for entertainment, what a terrible fate 😔

i think i'm catching feelings for someone...

that's right...

i'm in love with MY CITY

april
*pril
p*ril
peril

peril april

watch out heroes i think i just accidentally started the least catchy social media trend

(walks into the crime scene, takes off sunglasses, takes long drag of a thc vape) looks like our guy got ryona'd... gyaku style

honestly yeah

obviously when i defeat you in combat it is going to hurt. but if you go into it with a little more humility it will at least only hurt physically instead of also emotionally

if i'm getting my ass kicked even in low light then we have much bigger problems than shutter speeds

no i will not stop getting my ass kicked long enough to pose for a photo. i will get back to you when i have more control of the situation

i just have more dignity than they do i guess. c'mon. packin' your with a sock feels incredibly juvenile, even for spandex geeks

somehow got convinced to come to a party with a bunch of professional city-sponsored heroes. everyone here is padding their bulges, i'm sure of it

Hmmmmmm.

hm.

Big iced tea matchup on Friday

just caught a hero and a villain getting into a big fight in the city square. it was long and drawn out and it took 45 minutes for them to realize they were both bottoms and it was going nowhere

this is why i'm a vigilante bruh.

like c'mon if it's PLANNED that i get my ass kicked it takes all the fun out of it.

uh i mean

what they don't tell you when you sign up for the Heroes League is you have to take week long shifts being the hero that gets their asses beaten by villains to make the villains look dangerous

spandex tattered, head swimming, ears ringing, body leaned up against the brick wall on one side of an alleyway, bleeding from the thigh, pec, and cheek, our hero at least has the presence of mind to post a selfie for the pity clout

hey. this is legendary, you are legendary. i'm so glad you keep making art.

what the fuuuuck