[ASMR] Obsessed Girlfriend Ambushes You While You're Jerking Off And Begs To Drink Your Cum

Monitoring by hatsune miku is a song about someone having a mental health episode but it's unclear whether it's the narrator or the person she's talking to (but it's probably the narrator)

calling a woman "sip" because she's "not quite a tall drink of water, but still something"

you can't add the sugar before the tea bag because the sugar will get in the tea bag. you can't add milk/creamer before the sugar because you need the tea to be as hot as possible to dissolve the sugar. this provides a very clear ordering for the ingredients.

boiling water. tea bag. steep. remove bag. add sugar. add milk/creamer

decadence beyond imagination

girl eating pizza and hamburger on the same day

remember when speedoru made an ace attorney spoof but for some reason he made phoenix be the prosecutor and edgeworth was the defense attorney

lrt: because I think she's holding that scythe backwards?

#メカ少女

what's the correct way to hold a scythe? I would think you want it so that when you swing it, the pointy part leads ahead of handle?

maybe I need glancing blows and an aegis

ever since switching to life/mana/ES (like, all three at the same time) this has just been me 6 times per map

*gets oneshotted*

bold move by The bananas

I literally can't stop making Poasts

it might have been nmn1

the one where it injects either placebo or brain destroying chemical into your brain depending on whether you've been a good doll or not

clicker training you but it's that one "brain destroying chemical vs placebo" story by I think it was badend_doll?

tumblr screenshot. 'I'm not incontinent but I believe in their beliefs'. response: "community note ass post. this information is highly disputed type post"

pressing the button on your robot control remote that inflicts horrible nightmarish pain on you

it's ok I just scroll past it I just think it's funny that it's there on my timeline

panty pooping landmine

*reveals my hand at mana ability speed*

girlfriend with "Binds on equip"

hannah montanna calling to miley cyrus like the green goblin with the mask

this girl got an introject of me and immediately fell asleep due to my overpowering aura of sleepiness

kid named weed: :D

the glamorous life of *checks notes* oh. oh no.

I had to do a double take when they said "worse luck and far less gold"