So many of my friends are going through super tough times. Medical bills, laid off, zero job offers due to this economy. I wish made enough money/ won the lottery so I could ease their pain.

Ugh why is crushing on someone the worst?! Im 100% sure he doesn't feel the same way but everytime he messages me I get so dumb. Im laying in bed thinking of him, the dumb dates we would go on, little gifts, meals I would make him (acts of service and touch are my love language). ugggh I hate this.

How To Save Gay Marriage YouTube video by Under The Desk News

After the news today! watch this.

I can meme about it now so im doing better.

im broken and tired of trying to fix myself.

Sorry to be a downer, but I just had to get these out since I dont have anyone local to talk to about this. Most likely for the best.

My perfect world is no longer a place where im happy. It's a place where everyone else gets to be fulfilled, enriched, and safe. Somewhere where everything that's bad can live and die with me. Yes, im seeing a counselor just these feelings feel like they could eat the world right now. 1/??

For example, if I can siphon all the terrible feelings from the people I love and care about an they can just sit in my apartment with me, and only me the world would be better. Everyone else should discover happiness and passion. My perfect world is one where everyone else gets to be happy. 1/ ??

My only motivation was making sure jane had a stable life. Now that she's gone, sometimes I drive around just listening to music or working grubhub just to be productive. I've truly never felt so alone in my life. The scary part is it feels right, like it was always headed to this. 1/??

It's been a while since I've updated this:
-Job is secure.
-Had to say goodbye to jane.
-Greif has exacerbated my mental health issues.
*I've lost all my passion for living. Everything is too heavy these days. I work, I go to the gym, I cook and I lay in bed. 1/?

My mind is just letting go of everything, I feel like all I can do to stay teathered is focus on my faults and how everything is terrible. Am I using the faults in the world to justify leaving it.

I feel like I'm already dead and im just waiting for someone to bury me.

I got zero in savings, my job is thwarting any chance I have of being productive, I can last about a month on savings, unless I spend that on jane as she is refusing to eat on and off.

Worried about everything. My own mental health has been in the red, so much lately, it's hard to see the hope in anything. Worried for friends, Worried for my job, my family. I just feel so helpless, and all I can do is watch the world fall apart.

Yesterday was Jane's 14th birthday! I know our time may be coming to a close soon but our adventure has been amazing.

this, this right here.

ugh I was suppose to go out tonight to a bar and actually try to meet people but im just exhausted. I'm just so tired of worrying about whats going to happen. An I even had a good day. I'm so fucking lonely.

The best day since this horrible government takeover has started, got a good work project in place, jane is getting a little better. This week almost broke me.

Friends listening in on the neighbors fight, a story in three parts.

I've never been under this much stress before. Work is pretty much having to justify everything, an as we have to approvals for everything we have to keep busy. Jane is sick and im worried she is getting close to the end.

So far, so good. It looks like I'll still have a job for the week. However, we do have a big meeting this wed.

wish me luck everyone, I find out today if I'm on the first wave of layoffs at my facility.

A good thing happened last night at the Grammys. The Swamp Princess won 🐊#Doechii

my new place!

Sorry if you follow me everywhere, and you are seeing this for the 20th time. I'm just super proud of actually living on my own.

dats gay

my kinda card game 🥲

The previous post was just in case I get booted from the feds for working while black/ gay/ not a fascist.