Before Trump started the war in Iran:

Iran was not building a nuclear weapon

The Strait of Hormuz was open

Thousands killed during the war were alive

Mine was a sports themed "I had a ball at evan's bar mitzvah." That shirt is somewhere...

Breaking news: antichrist not "big fan" of pope

We found the one guy who's ardently attacking the Catholic Church but can't bring up that whole pedophile protection network thing

All they have is the oil, the land above it, the waterway down which it must float, a country full of people who hate the U.S. for all the times we have done exactly what we're doing now, and an opponent who is among the dumbest people ever to walk the earth.

For sale: baby jetpack. Worn once

Congrats!

A Washington Post headline that says "The science of whose farts smell the worst -- and why"

And here I was, worried the Washing Post was taking it too easy on Trump!

They also have a cool art museum (in addition to the two museums at CW itself).

the NCAA uploaded raw footage of the UConn buzzer-beater from every camera CBS had in the building to youtube (will drop in the replies) and the best part has to be this hard pan to Dan Hurley's mom yelling HOLY FUCKING SHIT followed by a synchronized simultaneous HOLY SHIT by both Hurley parents

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Just before going on stage. "Not a neuron firing out there. It's like a sea of orange cats who can vote. These people will applaud anything. Watch this:"

RIP Hubert

Bet including will there be overtime in a game that went to overtime

If UNC wins and covers this will be the funniest way to lose a parlay ever

“Apparently I’m an idiot.” Woman at Pennsylvania gas station who voted for Trump rips into him, calls him “a worthless pile of sh*t”.

Hague time

Our allies blew up hundreds of millions of dollars of your tax money for reasons that aren't clear to anyone other than an old rapist is mad no one came to his birthday party

You sound like an unhinged person if you in plain words describe what’s happening, but the Trump admin demanded Anthropic’s AI be able to kill things for it w/out human approval and also do mass surveillance.

Anthropic said no, and now the admin is trying to destroy the company in retaliation.

I do appreciate a company whose logo is a straight-up butthole telling the Pentagon where to stick it.

Oh hahaha ... Now I see what you meant!

I'd root for you to get one, but that feels like I'm rooting for you to have expensive car trouble, so maybe not 😂

Was rocking my Tyrannosaurus Wrench shirt yesterday!

This is such a game-show-ass state of the union

What the fuck are you talking about. Look at the picture. He's a demented racist stroke victim being puppeted around by Nazis between indulging in half imagined, misremembered grifts and grudges from the Carter administration. "Turn things around"?

#sotu is how the maga side of the room gets in its annual leg day

And they just sit there

*googles how to make a gif*

"And pizza for lunch every day! And no homework!"

*ok apparently anyone of them who isn't Connor Hellebuyck. If they're gonna give you the presidential medal of freedom over one hockey game, you prolly gotta show up

can’t spell Dale Earnhardt International without DEI 🙌🏻