This is something I've had to do several times in my life. The push-pull between "doing the thing that lights my brain up" and "waking up every morning feeling like life is ok" can be very real, and overwhelming.
For me it boils down to making sure my identity comes from more than one place.
I need more time in the day to listen to more awesome stories made by cool people.
That's it. That's the whole story.
A screenshot of Carmilla Episode 5: A Wonderful Likeness on the Re: Dracula podcast feed.
Happy to reveal that today's episode of #ReCarmilla is one of my favourites for how very gay it is. If you haven't already, give it a listen!
The carriage, its danger, its mystery, the first glimpse of the guest, all kinds of fun moments for music.
This is only episode 2, but there were so many chances to establish things, to introduce ideas, and I am in love with the way @starplanes.bsky.social wove it all into the sound design!
Not only do we meet the General. We also meet his grief.
Music which I knew would become important later. I wanted it to be simple, but rich. The book was published in the 1870s, deep into the Romantic era for music, so bring on all of the extended chords and lovely tension!
So yeah, I didn't know the release schedule either so surprise!
There was So Much Music for this episode. I went back and listened this morning. Starting to establish themes. The cozy, dream-like "home" music. Little whispers of Carmilla's mysterious motif but not quite established, not solid yet.
We have gentle music for her descriptions of her lonely, idyllic home. We have a simple music box tune for her dream, taken over by a dry violin. We have quietly insistant music of reassurance and prayer.
Because when the horror is at home amongst the simple things, it's a whisper, not a scream.
It makes the horror land differently for me, and I wanted the music to help create that distance and almost dream-like feeling of listening to someone tell a terrible, gripping story in such an almost detached way.
And so we have music that is simple, quiet, and a bit like a fairy tale.
There's something very special about the matter-of-fact, simple, and casual way everything is laid out in gothic horror. The emotion lies deep under the words, under an attention to even small facts that to me as a modern reader feels like the way someone still deep in trauma holds things distant.
Since this is now all the way out in the world I get to have fun happily yelling about it and talking about making music.
This episode is actually either the third or fourth one I worked on (I think third?) Reading the story, and then hearing the way Sasha narrated the beginning was striking.
🧵
You promised not to tell!!!! ::flails::
There are Many, Many reasons dear grandpa wanted to stay out in the valley...
So, so good!
Happy #AudioDramaSunday friends! #BobbysSnacks is back, & while it may start w/ the endless doom scroll that is 2025, I do save a lot of time for the stories that are helping me stay grounded. Big ups to @midnightburger.bsky.social, @midstpodcast.bsky.social, @theameliaproject.bsky.social, & more:
Not everyone can be a firebrand, but everyone can be kind to someone who needs it. Everyone can treat someone with dignity. Everyone can try to end the day having done something to make their part of the world better.
That's resistance. It's also joy, and I believe it's why we're here.
My queerness is quiet. I can walk safely in any company. I know this is a privilege. My defiance is equally quiet. I have reasons. They're mine and they're important to me. But even while quiet, I can do Something to balance out the hate and anxiety.
I think we all can. Small things matter.
When I read the posts here, or in the other places about all of the things going on, my throat closes up. I can't swallow. Even though I know I'm breathing, it feels like I can't.
But I can speak grace into the world. I can add bits of beauty. I can be there for people when they're hurting.
This week I attended the celebration of life for a dear friend's mother. This friend is one of those people who spends all of her time lifting people up. She leads with compassion and grace, and from her words that night, those things come from her mother.
She asked all of us there to do the same.
This is happening TODAY in about 3 hours!
A very cool thing about working with different writers and showrunners is that you get to try different processes. Sometimes I'm making music for an otherwise totally finished thing. Sometimes it's close but draft-y. Sometimes it's just a script and then we go back and forth.
Big noisy experiment!
The great thing about cues like that is... there is no Wrong and there are so many ways to be right!
::cries in alien planet::
The words I would most love to see…
Seamless
Heckin’ effective
Natural
Supportive
And strangely,
Unobtrusive
Plus all of the words of excellence 💜
My birthday is coming up and I pay for about 90% of Seen and Not Heard out of pocket so if anyone wants to fling a few dollars my way to help me put the show out, I'd appreciate it!
(There's a prologue for season two coming out a week from now, if that sweetens the deal!)
ko-fi.com/carolinemincks
Today's listening adventure is the extremely cathartic, fun, sharp, and well done Un(con)trolled. The first episode grabbed me right away and I'll probably finish the season tonight. I got a phone call right at the end of episode 4 and need to know!!
Happy #AudioDramaSunday all!
Music and narration making magic together!
Starfall does story-magic so well!
They were really good! I've never had an eclair that wasn't overly sweet before. This one had a very mild cream and was covered in sesame and poppy seeds dusted with cocoa powder. SO GOOD!
This was a nice place for writing and relaxing, but it didn't feel like the sort of place where you'd make friends and hang out with strangers.
I have a feeling cozy/queer coffee shops you can just sink into and live in doesn't exist in my little corner of Florida but a human can wish!
I finally live in a place with a little local coffee shop and today I went there for the first time. I had a delicious turmeric latte and the best eclair I've ever had.
That said, I want to go to Prism please @caromincks.bsky.social , @starplanes.bsky.social and @evantesseract.bsky.social !
And I absolutely can't explain, because it's the second to last episode and spoilers (yes the book is ancient but still).
Aaaaaa!
I am sat here being amazed by this perfect 2 minutes of acting from Sasha Sienna for @redracula.bsky.social's Carmilla as I try to write music that both heightens it and stays the hell out of the way.
This show is beautiful, and this is, for me, the most beautiful part.
Aaaaaa!