As of this morning I can confirm that yes, I have taken the “Which Uma Musume Are You” test. That’s all for now. No additional remarks at this time

All of your exes are in a group chat together, bro. They’re deciding to make a movie, bro. They’re casting. They’re location scouting. They’ve formed a production company, bro. Bro they’ve hired three-time Academy Award®-winning cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki, bro

A screenshot of a direct message that reads: “am I allowed to eat the public roads? They are public and asphalt in concrete taste pretty good.”

Just another beautiful day of being a public servant. Let’s check the DMs — oh.

They call me Small Batch Hot Sauce because I bring the heat without sacrificing flavor

Opus Magnum OST, by Matthew S Burns 14 track album

I forgot to mention this here as well: the three new tracks composed for the Opus Magnum: De Re Metallica expansion have been added to the base soundtrack on Bandcamp. If you purchased it there previously, you get the three new tracks for free.

zachtronics.bandcamp.com/album/opus-m...

Process: A Novel “Matthew Seiji Burns has done the nearly impossible. He’s thought deeply about the systems and technologies warping the human experience, and embedded them in a moving, nuanced, weird, and superlative...

Periodic reminder that I (a human, maybe) wrote a novel, and you (a human, possibly) can read it. www.tuneandfairweather.com/collections/...

JERRY: Transporting nitroglycerin?
GEORGE: That’s right.
JERRY: In run-down old trucks?
GEORGE: Uh-huh.
JERRY: What if we hit a bump?
GEORGE: We drive slow.
JERRY: Yeah? Who’s driving?
KRAMER [entering]: Hey, Jerry! Just picked up a great job from that oil company boss.

If I were a character in a turn-based game and it became my turn I would probably say something like “My turn now,” or “Guess it’s my turn, huh?”

If I was a giant, hulking monster I would simply not attempt to smash my much smaller opponent on the ground and in so doing inadvertently provide a convenient ramp in the form of my arm to run up toward my head

I’m happy to see people liking Marathon and it seemingly doing well… I am a dedicated scientific materialist, however, I know for a fact that a powerful witch put a curse on Bungie which lasted though the Destiny years, and, though I wouldn’t want to speak too soon, perhaps its power is fading

Hot sauce with a name like “Crazy Jimmy’s Inferno Hellfire Ass-Murdering Madness Explosion Sauce”: Not that hot

Hot sauce with a name like “Shady Valley Pepper Co. Happy Camper”: One drop teleports you to the Planes of Oblivion for the next 90 minutes

If you’ve been cornered by a villain and they’re explaining how you fit into their grand plan, make sure to ask “And if I were to refuse...?” to make it clear you’re considering other options

Calvin’s dad: Everything on this entire bitch of an Earth is either one thing, or it’s another thing. I’m going to bed

The degree to which I ignore everything I can has definitely increased; I put some of that down to getting older, but I also think notification fatigue is real and consequently it is harder than ever to actually tell people things (genuine things)

I’m wearing the One Ring, the Ring of the Niebelung and the Elden Ring* simultaneously and I’m so cursed it caused an integer overflow

*”the Elden Ring is not a piece of jewelry” anything’s a piece of jewelry if you wear it like one

more like wrong gilbert

👤Nancy likes this

I once had a client pay me in woims.

... more

You “consider mids loud?” Well I consider you a liar, young man. Sit down

modern knives actually have a bitter coating to discourage babies from swallowing them

Something you don’t see much anymore is minor thugs suggestively licking their knives to show they’re crazy before attacking... I get it, waste of time

Support Kyle Fraser’s Recovery after Two Strokes

Some of you may know I’ve been dealing with a personal matter over the last week. Most of you do not. I consider myself a very private person but I need to ask for help at this time. Last week, my partner and best friend, Kyle Fraser, suffered from two strokes in a single day. There is a very long and expensive road ahead, and our friends have been gracious enough to help organize a GoFundMe for anyone who wishes to offer their support. On it, we have written up more detail on his condition for anyone curious. Even a repost or share helps. The link to that is in my bio, my story, highlights - pretty much anywhere. Thank you for your thoughts and support at this time. Apologies in advance if I take some time to reply, I’m taking it one day at a time.

For those who don’t know him, Kyle is probably the most compassionate person I’ve ever met. He is as gentle and brilliant as much as he is strong and funny. He loves his two cats Poly and Moog, and adopted them with the explicit intention of ‘which cats are you having a hard time adopting?’ Though he can be reserved and introverted, Kyle has a fierce passion for his career and will always offer a helping hand to anyone in need, often taking calls to mentor professionals beginning their career. I’ve become a better person through knowing and loving him.

Photo of Kyle and I early last year

My partner and best friend Kyle suffered from two strokes last week. We need your help.

gofund.me/e25c60dfb

Anything helps, a like, a share, a donation. thank you for your support during this difficult time ❤️

LOL

The aliens from Galaxy Quest who think Galaxy Quest is real have been making their way through the endless Galaxy Quest sequels and reboots and, enervated by the overwhelming mediocrity of it all, have decided to stay home

Honestly I see a revenge fantasy in it, like it’s the dream of an artist to create a work so transcendent it literally mindbreaks the negative reviewer and turns him into a paypig for whatever you want to do next

The thing I always remember is what defeats the critic in the end is a direct emotional appeal to his nostalgia, bypassing his actual critical faculties. It works so well he gives a speech about how the people who make things are more important than critics

If I was on Fhloston Paradise and Ruby Rhod showed up I would not be shocked at his behavior... I would know well in advance what type of person he was

I think “500 x Enchanted Black Knight Ultra Greatsword +14” is a good combination of words, you could put it in a meme image or use it as an atmospheric doom metal track name

“I began to suspect those 500 Enchanted Black Knight Ultra Greatsword +14's weren't so enchanting after all” is making my day, thank you

Thanks for injecting me with 500 cursed Black Knight Ultra Greatswords Getting hacked on memory lane for Dark Souls 2's 12th anniversary.

I have a new piece up at @rockpapershotgun.bsky.social — it’s about when I got hacked in Dark Souls 2, used hacker tools to unhack myself, and then talked to my hacker years later