(not sure if my joke will get interpreted as lewd)

is this a fucking joke to you?

Status: being a human footstool

Using my skills as a saleswoman to convince a bitch who pegs me to walk around topless

In Turkey, an elderly man who earns his living by shining shoes is visited every morning at the same time by a cat that asks to have its fur brushed. The man never turns down this little friend.😍👍💙

woman who's about to mcfrickin lose it but goes on to mcfrickin find it

i only worked for the CIA for the aesthetic

easily one of the funniest guys america has had in decades

“We always seem to have money for war. But not to feed the poor.”

Lotta folks nowadays acting like online communities when we were growing up weren't havens for adults to prey on hormone-horny teens, all the jailbait, the e-dating, the exposing people unprompted to shock sites, hentai, and the like...

if jd vance is against the war he can resign whenever he wants

Women playing with my tits 😵‍💫

The Mizore who stole sex

Sorry I stole all the sexuality with my hypersexuality. It all went to me.

I don't get why the younger generations (god I sound old) are so anti-sex? No one is forcing you to fuck, but don't shame others for having sex and/or showing off sexuality

Holding several people at gunpoint meme - Me writing psychic goblin - Person about to post "That's just Yoda" - Me responding "No, but, like, a Girl Goblin" - "That's Just Yaddle"

Porn is good actually

Character whose inner monologue consists of endless Sephirothing

x

Character whose inner monologue sounds like a toxic WoW guild master three hours into wiping on the first boss of the raid on Normal difficulty

March 2025, less than two months before rcbg, lmao

the police don't want you to know this but I'm masturbating rn

Was Your Country Ever At War With Japan For 102 Years?

Credit: Dalmatian Mapper

The story: brilliantmaps.com/japan-mon...

Guy who can't cum unless someone is watching my cat lick his balls

i did NOT have sexual relations with... well anyone, really. was this ever in doubt?

A better internet is possible. We don't need to destroy it, turn it into a surveillance machine, OR turn it into a glorified, over-censored cable TV replacement.

Find current social media toxic? We can make it better. The monopolization of the web is the big problem right now. #savespeech

Here we fixed this for you, @wsj.com

We see you trying to help JD pretend he doesn’t have to wear this war when he runs for president. Nope.

Why isn't this me

God I wish #転剣

Melania Trump: “I call on Congress to provide the women-who have been victimized by Epstein”

with a public hearing specifically centered around the survivors.

Then, and only then, we will have the truth.

Melania Trump: “Thank THANK YOU.”

that was an absolute rollercoaster of a spontaneous 4 minute press statement.

this really feels like the kind of CYA response you’d see if a journalist had called & requested comment on an upcoming story linking Melania & Epstein.

Now is the time for Congress to act. Epstein was not alone.

Several prominent mill executives resigned from their powerful positions

Of course, this doesn't amount to guilt but we still must work openly

and transparently to uncover the truth.

alluding to powerful unnamed business leaders will definitely take the heat of your powerful business leader husband. Masterful gambit, madame 👍

“I have never had any knowledge of Epstein abuse of his victims.”

Millenia in a hot dog costume yelling about how we’re all trying to find the guy who did this.

Melania Trump: Epstein did not introduce me to Donald Trump.

Melania Trump: “I met my husband by chance at the New York City party in 1998.”

Melania Trump: “The first time I crossed paths with Epstein was in the year 2000”

Melania Trump: “at an event Donald and attended together.”

Melania: “Jeffery Epstein did not introduce me to Donald Trump. My husband, Donald Trump, introduced me to Jeffery Epstein. Please write that down.”