this is going to be stuck in my head for the remainder of the day

spend less on candles

final boss: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crompouce

lol ty

...get out immediately

who called it "spreading sakura blossoms" and not cherrymandering

who called it bonsai and not treedistricting

the chronicle of higher ed should be a picaresque about a man named edward who is either very tall or very stoned

why couldn’t the pr account executive buy gasoline

it was under embargo

why did the pr account executive get kicked out of flight school

they kept circling back

also had to talk them out of a deep dive

endlessly and sincerely grateful that most of what shows up in my mentions column typically falls under the category of "gamely going along with the bit"; this is possibly the only good experience on social media and I appreciate you all

Why did the pr account executive eat so much fish?

they had such a good angle

don't get me started on their clients' stump speeches

Why do PR execs run the best lumberyards?

They’re always making sure you saw this.

What did the account executive say when he made bail?

For immediate release

Wonderful, congrats!

why was the pr account executive rejected from the choir

they were a bit pitchy

this is very good tbh

I've also always loved Fox calling it pollpourri

At YouGov, our team has the unofficial motto of “An Unsettling Mix of Topics.”

DeRem on

if you want to criticize washington dc, that's fine, but pls be sure to indicate whether you're criticizing washington (the political apparatus in town) or dc (everything else)

Sometimes even within the same survey! When I was looking for space polls recently, found one with the incomparable transition, "Now, thinking for a moment about Mars..."

How a storage closet-turned-boxing gym is helping migrant students graduate, and giving them options for the future

I — and fantastic video crew — spent many months working on this story which I am proud of and hope you'll click on and even consider paying for! www.cnn.com/2026/04/17/s...

I get why people are shitting on this example, but you should definitely do the "record interviews with your loved ones" thing. There's a reason people save voicemails from folks long gone.

considering changing my name

(joke is on me, the methods statement in the pdf literally reads "Mode: Web panel, phone")

i would like the atlantic to retract its statement that several dozen of my colleagues have cited my puns as frequent and dreadful enough to pose a risk to national security

Debunking

(see also xkcd.com/2551/)

i love a debunking post that, out of context, raises more questions than it addresses

STOP

using raw data?

pasteurize it so you don't get e coli