A new Mo Willems show is specifically for millennials who watched The Off-Beats and now have children.

Does every subplot of The Pitt need to devastate me so deeply?

I was going to do literally anything else but season one of RHOC is on and now this is what I’m doing.

The Bachlorette could do the funniest thing right now and put a super cut of just the men out so they can at least try and be the influencers they were there to be.

I was not prepared for that Disney Cruise Line commercial.

Taking my Fools Spring seriously and not wearing tights.

Made a birthday sign for my baby and now I’m going to stare at the ceiling contemplating time and all its foibles.

After 3 full hours at a carnival I have locked myself in my room with Trader Joe’s spicy Cheetos and SILENCE.

I’m hoping Jennifer Tilly spent her entire School Spirits paycheck on candy and diamonds.

The only thing I like about this “Billie Eilish Boomerang Idol” is calling it the BEBI

Starting Survivor 50 because sometimes you start watching a tv show on a whim in 2007 and here you are today.

FROY IS TAKING ME OUT

Behind on drag race but just jumping ahead to Snatch Game because it’s what I need.

I fear I love the Scrubs reboot

Nothing hits quite like a freshly laundered baby in new jammies.

Nobody knows I’m listening to Gimmie Gimmie as I walk down the str…yes they do I am singing along.

I see my age mostly in how every year I know fewer and fewer names on the governors ball lineup.

Did none of these couples pack sunscreen??? #loveisblind

Valentines Day is first and foremost about the chocolate and candy you spend it with ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Ready to get my hopes up too high for these Love Is Blind couples.

Another year of rooting for my scores to win and I hope you are too!

Ok so maybe I don’t want to watch the downfall of Kyle and Amanda’s marriage?

I put on some nails so if I’m gesturing too much just keep it to yourself.

a man wearing a top hat says stop don 't come back . ALT: a man wearing a top hat says stop don 't come back .

They closed Dinosaur at Animal Kingdom
Me:

What keeps me going through these dark times? Well sometimes I just sit and stare at my child while she eats goldfish and genuinely think it’s the most miraculous thing I’ve ever seen.

Raise a glass of Herb Erltinger fruit wine tonight.

It’s a good year to be someone who was first discovered on a niche singing competition at the Oscars.

I will be taking a mirror out of the garbage if I see it being thrown away. Do you know how expensive mirrors are?? Thank me later.

The most mom thing about me is if you post a TikTok when you are driving I will report it as a dangerous activity.

STOP 👏🏻 BETRAYING 👏🏻 MY 👏🏻 VIBE 👏🏻