im just trying to buy a new “toy” and this entire fucking spençers is full all of a sudden kmssss

rather unfortunately i have to bus there after work i really really hope i dont smell like shit that day. theres literally no other day i can do it tho since wednesday im working two jobs nd im closing tomorrow

booked a back wax in preparation for the concert ✌️ imma just shave my front since its two separate costs, no bundles at this place. wont be affording laser anytime soon atp so whatever one wax sesh wont ruin it

i have been CRAVING a vodka cranberry lately omggg

perseverance pays off 💪 going to buy a usb adapter and a matcha drink and once im home ill probably do my first ever stream with my model!!

nearly had a sugary drink on my break wtf was i thinking

i watched one reel of a bodybuilder trying on normal womens clothing and she couldnt fit well at all and tbh that fully de influenced me from getting bigger lmfao

i think im getting used to not eating again !!! its been so long since ive been able to fast successfully

stomach hurting so often bc of stress…. spilled my guts (somewhat) to my parents after an argument and im getting a therapist again

had like half a chocolate egg after and felt super nauseous like i spat it out. ate more than i wanted today like i had chocolate earlier and stuff but ahhhhh. fasting now and worried abt logistics bc im seeing my gf tomorrow again

doing chest today after cardio i wanna grow my tits a little

hehehe new owner new employee and still didn’t get id’d so imma head to gym now this is nice

waittt i need to charge my watch what if i go home and get it and my id then i dont have to worry

my fast is going well though!!! im hungry af right now but ik i got this. besides after my break is over i wont rlly have a chance for calories. im sticking to water and black coffee so i dont trigger an insulin response

theyve depuffed to mostly normal but oml i have legit never seen them that bad

if they even let me cause i dont have my id on me today

i might buy a thc vape after work i dont knowwwww my gf doesnt want me to but i really need it rn im just doing so badly

cried so much and got such bad sleep my eyes are so insanely puffy like the skin is tight around them omg

im literally about to go to work

i had a crazy breakdown and cvt + im torn between doing more or stopping. i really want to do more + its already there so whats the harm right. but on the other hand me and my gf are going to a concert in 2 weeks and i asked if we could get intimate and if we do i dont wanna be a spectacle for her

my gf is concerned about my eating and drinking habits :( i really dont want to worry her

ik i need to drink more water but i really dont want to start eating more so ill just eat better but less and hopefully that fools her somewhat

i hate that im even wanting to fool her but i need to be thinner

you gotta be kidding me no way this came on after i finished

eating at work and turning my fast into a 24h one so im not miserable when i go over to my gfs tomorrow

only 24h remaining :3

also eugh i just noticed my room is starting to smell

im so fucking hungry wtf

i really want to sh but im staying over at my girlfriends soon and if she sees fresh i know shes gonna get concerned and i really dont want that

getting made to pay rent now and my dad specifically mentioned how much money i eat in groceries (estimated to be fair) and fuck i feel so fucking fat im not gonna eat as much as possible now like im so triggered by that. im starting a fast hopefully ill hit it, its 30 hours

havent even started bleeding yet either just getting cramps smh

ugh i lowk dont even know how to be healthy w this…. might just be cheeky and relapse instead

i seriously cannot believe how lucky i am that my family moved out here and i got to meet my gf. she is probably the most amazing thing to be a part of my life