chicken jockey is the new pickle rick

one time on a date a guy asked me what my favorite vampire movie was and i said hotel transylvania. that wasn’t a good answer apparently so he asked me what my favorite zombie movie was and i said hotel transylvania.

why is it that, as soon as rent is due, pokemon has to drop a brand new line of eevee kitchen stuff 🥲

NOT COOL for pokemon to release not only a brand new turtwig plush but ALSO a brand new $50 wailord plush right when im about to sign a new apartment lease and can’t afford anything

screenshot where username is Bill Cosby

Had a wild wonder pick in pokemon tcg pocket the other day

i WISH i didnt know what you were referring to

It can be! I still love ‘em though, they’re just curious about the world!

What is common knowledge in your field, but shocks outsiders?

I’m an aquarist, and sea turtles are a bigger danger to us when we’re diving than any of the sharks are. They bite anything they’re curious about like a toddler AND they’re like 400 lbs so yes I am more afraid of them than any shark.

this is exactly how it feels tho

I have 2 answers

Final Fantasy to live out my dreams of being a chocobo rancher

Or Pokemon so I could have my own Torterra and take naps on his back every afternoon

mix em in with a fresh bag of tootsie rolls and play russian roulette, you either get tootsie roll or SOAP

Once these stints come out of my nostrils tomorrow and I am finally able to breathe at 100% for the first time in my life it is OVER for you people

I am so insanely jealous. You live within driving distance of where sandtiger sharks, my favorite genre of sharks, swim freely among the schools of fish 😭

it’s been a long couple of days. have a frog on a leaf. 🐸