[Scrooge opens window]
"YOU THERE, Boy! What day is it?"

Boy:

Basket full of toilet paper

This years Easter basket did not disappoint

Easter Island must be absolutely insane today

Hey there’s a Hare in my chocolate!

Every month should have a Fool’s day

*paint guy mixing the wrong colour* “I’ve made a hue mistake”

Irish Star Trek fans don’t like talking about “the tribbles”

So, if there are no further questions…are there any NEARER questions?

we did it you guys we saved daylight

Moved my clocks forward and they fell off the shelves

I’m worried my phone isn’t listening to me anymore

“I think we’re going to play ‘broken telephone’ today”

“That’s not what I heard”

Curling is mostly trying to get your opponents rocks off

I forgot Valentine’s Day and I don’t have the heart to tell her

This chef at the brunch buffet is giving me the crêpes

[to the tune of 'Paperback Writer']
🎶 Superbowl Sunday

My chess teacher refuses to be paid by check

Groundhog Day is an “emerge ‘n see”

For me, it’s either an ‘everything shower’ or a ‘nothing shower’ there is no in between

Snow angels aren’t as fun once you realize each marks a snowman’s grave

Tattoine = lukewarm
Hoth = Luke cold

Time Magazine tweet that says Aquaman defeats Mary Poppins

It was a hell of a battle though

When I first found out about static electricity it came as a shock

I got DoorDash from the all you can eat buffet and just kept sending the driver back for more

Things were so good in the 80’s Tina Turner sang about the glut of heroes

Will we be celebrating New Year’s Eve? I’m counting on it

'Kung-Fu Fighting' is a Christmas song- it begins “oh, ho ho ho!”

*Santa rushing home to take his infamous post-Christmas piss*

Frosty the snowman’s acceptance of his own mortality is a nice touch in this Christmas classic ☃️

*Mrs. Claus constantly refreshing the 'Santa Tracker'*