lol

The Midwest has elected a new ope

“Torpedo bats”

✉️

“What did the admiral find in the submarine’s belfry?”

*Hollywood studio, 1961*

TV EXEC: well it was an excellent pitch, but I guess I want to know: why are you the right one to tell this story?

TALKING HORSE: great question. The truth is, I grew up around people like these so-called “Beverly Hillbillies”

"The Naked City" (1948) - Rossellini meets Weegee in Jules Dassin's landmark of location shooting. Entertaining enough, but best viewed as the pulpy forerunner of a Dick Wolf police procedural, right down to Barry Fitzgerald's seen-it-all lead detective and the day players bringing the world to life

Microsoft’s little emblem in its desktop search bar today is supposed to be birthday boy Alexander Graham Bell and a telephone but all I see is a cannon pointing at his head Looney Tunes-style

Jamison Webb @jamisonwebb *Burt Lancaster on episode of "Hot Ones" taking a bite of Da Bomb wing* BURT: oooh. You're a spicy one, aren't you? Ooh. You showed up with something to prove. And here you are. Heat to the high heavens. You little firecracker SEAN: You famously won an Oscar for "Elmer Gantry"

*Hollywood studio, 1961*

TV EXEC: well it was an excellent pitch, but I guess I want to know: why are you the right one to tell this story?

TALKING HORSE: great question. The truth is, I grew up around people like these so-called “Beverly Hillbillies”

watching the Super Bowl? um, ever heard of watching a Super *Book*??? (I call reading “watching a book”)

hello webbheads

sis boom bah

“Stalag 17” (1953) - Proto-“Hogan’s Heroes” comedy/drama directed by Billy Wilder and set in a POW camp during Christmas 1944. Twisty thrills abound, William Holden cigar-chomps his way to an Oscar win, and any movie is made better with Sig Ruman in a supporting role. Add it to your holiday rotation

man I cannot wait to come a-wassailing

Hello to my new followers. Here’s a picture of Gallagher from a 1987 tv special celebrating the 75th anniversary of Las Vegas

I feel like there was a “redneck” 12 Days of Christmas in the 90s that one of our local morning zoo crews loved to play? Riding the Foxworthy Wave™️

Oh man I don’t know if I can even name one?! “The Chanukah Song"? “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus” is kinda funny

when a Christmas song ends with a little instrumental homage to another Christmas song? Yeah that’s extremely my shit

“where the hell are the singing cats?”

“White Christmas” (1954): The charms of the four leads are undeniable, the Technicolor pops, and you can’t go wrong with Michael Curtiz directing, but what always sticks with me is Dean Jagger’s tough, tender work as the major general. His arrival in the final scene is just beautiful stuff

I love YouTube videos about never-built theme park rides. I live for YouTube videos about never-built theme park rides

Ok I’ll frickin’ say it: Season’s EATINGS

If you have an Easter Bunny costume and some green paint, you have a Grinch costume

“Okay, folks, stick around: we have the AP All-American Pickleball Team with us tonight”

“The holidays sure bring out the worst in people, don’t they? I’m not saying folks are finding strange new ways to celebrate Christmas, but I just saw Robert Kennedy Jr. dump a dead reindeer carcass in Central Park.”

“Yes, everyone is really getting into the holiday spirit. I’m not saying Santa Claus is taking things too far, but he just removed Hunter Biden from the naughty list dating back to 2014”

“Yes, it’s time for Christmas shopping again. I’m not saying that shopping for gifts is stressful, but Kendrick Lamar just released a new diss track: ‘Not Like Toys-R-Us’”

“Can you believe all of these streaming platforms these days? I’m not saying networks are starting to rethink their streaming strategies, but at NBC’s Christmas feast this year, they served roast Peacock.”

“Have you heard some of the new holiday pop songs this year? I’m not saying singers are cashing in on Christmas for a quick buck, but Sabrina Carpenter just released a new song: “That’s That Me Hot Cocoa”