And a 401k plan. 🫣

On Friday Jonah gave a PowerPoint presentation at school and I was like, Jesus Christ, when did he turn 25? (He’s nine.)

Lucy calls on Charlie Brown to kick football, offers support

@washingtonpost.com

Choose your own adventurism

Never change, New Jersey. Never change…

You gonna be in the Mando trailer tonight bro?

Christmas cookies are a legitimate breakfast option for the next week. Don’t let anybody tell you different.

The @economist.com has a long tradition of clever puns and cultural references in headlines but I love how they really go HAM for the podcast titles.

Sometimes that Charlie Brown, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about Charlie Brown is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.

Forever validating that Will Rogers quote: “I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.”

My hot take since 2015 has been that the prequels had good story ideas executed poorly and the sequels had bad story ideas executed well.

This guy, also from the Mike Judgeaverse, would fit in great there.

Philly knows what’s up

Is it coming by Pony Express?

Sigh. This is what Trump apologists will use as cover for his shitty economic policy. “The Trump economy was rocking but then the AI bubble burst. Oh well, at least we got our tax cuts.”

“Come out to the coast, we’ll have a few laughs…”

The controversial Special Edition has the rhinos shoot at the poachers first.

I’m ride or die with the en dash even though my own staff flags them as “mistakes” so there’s really no hope for it to ever go mainstream, unfortunately.

Just tried to call someone on my calculator. How’s YOUR day going?

In: vapid buzzfeed clickbait

Out: quality journalism?

I realize it’s summer and you want to be lighthearted, but geez…

Sigh.

Christopher Nolan to Universal's PR team right now, seeing all the panicked takes.

Dude, you could have shortened this to “Spotted: leopard” and had a nice little run, but no…

When will Disney stop tinkering with these movies?

Just ate Strega Nona levels of pasta, oof.