I’m not proud of it but if Forrest Gump started talking to me on a bench I’d have left

Finally got a 'dimmi' from the owner of the enoteca I've been coming to for more than two years. Still got goosebumps.

Only 40 people read this thread, but all of them went on to form a band.

he'll always be dead in our hearts

Sir, a second bird is at the feeder

[reading a book in first person] i dont remember doing any of this

Happy birthday to one of my favourite haters, Charles Darwin

An odd thing they do here is everyone says hello to everyone when they enter the waiting room, and goodbye when they leave. In italian, of course.

Heard a lad earlier talking about ‘Belgian whistles’

“A basic website costs 10k or 25k upwards if you want all the Belgian whistles”

BELGIAN WHISTLES

No-one tells you how hard it is to go from eating seedless grapes to eating grapes with seeds.

Happy 9th birthday to the time my parents brought over wine in a plastic box because Mum was “increasingly wary of glass".

My NatWest MyRewards wrap has dropped. Big year for logging into the app.

ESCAPEs — Unnamed Press by Daniel Tunnard Published: October 06, 2020 ISBN: 9781951213114 Paperback $18.00

You can get 20% off my critically-acclaimed* Scrabble mafia novel ESCAPES direct from the indie publishers Unnamed Press using the code HOLIDAY20. An ideal present for people who like Scrabble/books/death www.unnamedpress.com/all-books/p/...

*3 critics liked it

The "don't have an extra kid if you can't afford it" brigade get awfully upset when you suggest they don't stay in their £2m house if they can't afford it, don't they?

Highly recommended. These are both excellent books. I’m struggling to think of a collection of stories that so consistently unnerved me.

Bridgnorth Revisited YouTube video by CummingsYourWay

🚨 NEW Cummings Your Way 🚨 Join Dan and Lee as they rekindle pinbright days of flailing terribly in #Claverley before revisiting #Bridgnorth in the fragile light of a February afternoon to consider the manifold reasons for handsomeness of a "pretty good looking town." 🕰️

@cummingsyourway.bsky.social

if you’ve ever watched the apprentice, that’s the world without arts or humanities degrees

Every question you ask at the end of a work meeting should be deducted from your lifespan

Taking photos of the labels out of politeness. Deleting as soon his back is turned.

Just seen a rosé on the shelf behind me. Come on, for crying out loud.

Ah, the first wine is a white wine, I see what the spittoon is for now.

Holding a pendulum over the screen as I read your posts.

Just said buongiorno to two nuns. Edging closer and closer to my Italian passport.

Excellent. Congratulations!

Two Italian men are changing the intercom on my doorbell. I am in the kitchen, folding some bags for life. If I could conjugate the verb, I would offer them a coffee.

Oh no, I am fully emasculated now. Wow, this feels great.

Just about to find out who will be sitting on the kitchen step stool to eat Christmas dinner at the table.

Watching the news on a 30" TV, volume down, subtitles on, viewing from a 30⁰ angle. Christmas has begun.