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Onion.InfoWear: Limited Edition Zip-Up Hoodie

Dark times call for reckless purchases. store.theonion.com/products/infowars-mashup...

It's come up a few times recently, but I'll post it here. I DO have a p*treon (sort of). I legit have lost the ability to log into it for like 3 years now, but if I call tech support to fix it, I get all the changes they've made. Some people are still sending me stuff, but I can't learn who. ... ...

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So if you DO want to support me more than you awesome folks do, might be better to make it less subscription-y. Just add a tip to commissions, just DM me and I'll send a paypal link lol or use Ko-Fi (also barely used and updated) ko-fi.com/averthedorbley

The Infowars news is funny, yes. But more importantly, it is an outright rebuke of Alex Jones' evil.

It's testament to the strength and resilience of the Sandy Hook families who survived this bullshit for more than a decade as well as the Onion, which didn't give up on this for the last 18 months.

TBH, if I was local to you, I would 100% offer to help. You do some really interesting stuff!

Alas I am neither local nor rich, so the best I can offer is kind words.

Do as the Romans do! (Invade other countries and force them to join your empire as a subservient!)

two images of the human body's circulatory system. One of them with good cable management

The human circulatory system, before and after proper cable management.

Dipped in latex

Unless the great peanut pandemic wipes out all the peanut crops first.

So instead the world shifts to Kale Spread.

Damn, that's a good chunk in taxes

*closes blinds*

Devotion

Saw this news and I had to make a rough sketch about it. 🥹 We humans always underestimate the empathy and care of other animals..

a cat sitting on a chair at the dining room table looking nonplussed by a large plate of blini

when you've siezed the means of production and aren't sure what comes next

Camel daddy was a bad influence U_U 🚬

Mmmm cheddar/bacon perogies.... *drools*

Oh no! I have also tripped and fallen onto you!

Yeah it's not the best taste in the world. I used to get chronic nosebleeds and have thus tasted far more of my own blood than I care to recall.

Panel 3 is just killing it.

Have you considered giving up vampirism?

🟩🐅🟩

illust done for Furrua 😴🌤️

the president of the united states is personally looting the treasury to the tune of literally billions of dollars and that he is not being immediately removed from office and tried for high crimes against this country is a devastating indictment of every part of our political system

A VCR never sold my private info to a nazi

At least she tried…

A screenshot of the page from Crooks & Liars on Boozy’s phone. Directly under the headline reading “RFK Jr Stopped Car To Cut Off Penis Of Raccoon Roadkill” is a targeted ad likely resulting from Boozy’s recent searches for smoked meat rub recipes. The ad reads: “Deli & Lunch Meats Bring your family to the table with our delicious smoked meats and cheeses.”

Wow. I really hate targeted ads more now.

Make CEO's afraid again