POTUS has FTD. He needs to be in a care facility.

Where did you go that they didn't teach you how to use an asterisk?

Yeah no, not doing anything to dispel the batshit crazy stereotype there. Wow.

Or when your idiot uncle turns the boiler temp down to save money and the shower becomes a biohazard.

I once appeared in the audience of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and purposely chose the wrong answer when they used Ask the Audience as the contestant was a cock.

Genius

Then we need to make men's prisons safe for ALL males. Female prisoners shouldn't be a human shield against the violence of men.

They have to use terms you think are transphobic because all the normal terms have been twisted to mean something else. I'm really sorry if reality triggers you, but it doesn't stop it being real.

I can smell an anagram 😉

Maybe not that bad but the one I loved today was £85. Other day was £120.

It's not fair.

Me: sees a Wallpaper direct ad with a BITCHIN wallpaper.
*shopnow* click!

Also me: £280 a roll Goddamnit

I feel bad now for that chimpanzee tikka masala I had. They're just like us.

I'm all for the liquid shit thing but not at the expense of a poor dog's gut health.

Work wife is an emotional affair. If your head is turned that easily and you lust after her going forward, you need to get out.

I'm wonderful! I'd never disrespect my life partner by lusting after a work husband, for starters. I hope this guy's poor wife ends up with someone who values her because he doesn't.

Brutal. But I have a trudging amount of pride for you.

Hope your wife fucks your brother and divorces you.

Trump:

"The President of the United States Gavin Newscum admitted that he has learning disabilities."

Yes, he actually called Gavin Newsom the "President of the United States" while trying to insult his cognition.

GF years ago decided to get me excited in the morning by knocking one out in bed as I dozed. As she neared her "crescendo," I jokingly leaned over and asked her if she wanted me to tape Kilroy. We broke up that evening, after a tense day.

That frigging cat. He's had his dinner AND some biscwits and he's now trying to eat plastic.

Photo for cat tax

This year I'm just going to dry the big bits out and burn then in the garden.
I've got an incinerator bin.

I get 2 bins for that price. Used to chip in with neighbours because a house can have 4 and 1x4 was cheaper than 4x1. Now the labels have our address on and if they're not outside the right house they don't get emptied.

Buy a walking stick you can skip security lines at the airport too.

I'm sorry and I agree with you on the convenient plot points but BBT and Sam Elliott could tag-team shitting on my chest and I'd still adore them.
It's deffo been renewed.

Last week I could have bought one of David Lynch's actual Swatches online (non working, sadly) but it was a bit rich for my blood. Ant would've gone POSTAL can you imagine?
If I'm ever proper lottery-levels minted...

Please would you add my Mum? Her name was Lorna Myles and she'd have been 90 this coming Wednesday. Thankyou.
#Mums26