His portrait looks so stupid.

Putting this on my tombstone.

We always are.

Lindsey, please, us Chelsea supporters are in mourning still.

Is he on a tear?

I'm not sure it's wise to give foreign adversaries targets for their missiles, but what do I know?

Inclusion matters.

Owls are NOT birds.

“Nevermind, both are too spicy. I’ll do the nachos.”

I bet it’s because people are stressed before they even show up.

A photo of Ryu Hyun-jin with his arm around Juan Uribe when they were Dodgers teammates.

Bet.

A man unbridled by current drawstring tech. Gotta respect it.

We all know that in war, the famous saying goes, “it’s better to be lucky than good.”

Wait.

Reminder that church will be 50% off tomorrow.

They had to construct the narrative first.

I love having to check the timestamp on anything he says or does. /s

Chaos.

Thank you for your service.

a man stands in front of a classroom with the words come on Alt: A gif of a key and peele sketch where Keegan Michael Key plays a teacher, snaps a clipboard over his knee, and yells “come on!”

Me, every time his charm got the best of me.

Hot.

One can't know until they try, I guess.

Saving this for the end of the season. “The Dodgers Seasonal Food Bounty” is a fun bit of data analyses I like to conduct.

Bring back 90 degree angles!

I saw one of these at CES and thought it was a very cool concept - the atmospheric LED accents helped a lot.

But then, I saw the YouTube ads, a lot, and could never decipher what they were trying to sell me on or who this $100k car was for.

Crazy they'd let you take a selfie while there.

A photo of a woman's limp body hanging out of an old trunk. Black demonic hands are crawling out of the box. Black smoke billows out.

Kind of like this?

I'm in if I don't have to tithe.

Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work.

"Feels weird; looks good."

a man taking a shower with the words " sobbing uncontrollably " on the bottom Alt: Tobias of arrested development taking a shower with the words " sobbing uncontrollably " on the bottom

Me, when I tell Siri to play “I wish it would rain down” and the bridge hits: