you really have to look out for baseball players these days. they’re everywhere. a few minutes ago i turned on a baseball game and there were like 12 of those fuckin’ guys

Alex says "well, economy's fucked. Time to start camming." She asks herself "what's my niche?" She gets an idea. She has set up a sexual version of Cow Tools. Her friend says "I don't get it..."

There is a growing section of shirtless Rockies fans at Coors Field chanting "Take it off, take it off!"

the group is getting bigger as more topless people join

A skeleton lifting more weight than the secretary of defense did in that stupid video with the text “My body is a machine that doesnt work very good”

Just so you understand, this is as if you prepared for argument in front of a panel that included Cookie Monster, and Cookie Monster asked you a question about cookies, and you had not thought about cookies in advance.

Paused MAD MEN while Ted Chaough’s partner was in the hospital and the HBO Max interstitial ad made it look like his dying wish was for a Whopper.

A podcast host says "today on the pod, we have Ted from I have no mouth and I must scream." The host asks Ted, a gelatinous blob "how ya doin, Ted" Ted quivers in pain. The host looks attentive. Ted quivers in pain.

Screenshot from a BBC educational website. The expanded section reads: "10. How to be polite and show respect In the old days of feudal Japan, a samurai warrior would shout You are trying to view Flash content, but you have no Flash plugin installed."

Remembering the ancient ways

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Footballtweets on Twitter: 🇳🇬🗣️ Victor Osimhen: “I pray for everyone, I really do. Except the landlords.” 🙏

Oven clock, we meet again.

remember to set your clocks tonight. time begins at 2 am

sunsofcarcosa Badge image. Feb 3 my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called "honorable knight" youll be zonked out of your gourd me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit 5 minutes later: only in death does duty end my buddy pacing: i am the sword and the hand that wields it

being a carless american is awesome. financial harm caused by rising oil prices won't directly effect me, and secondary effects aren't something we are trained to think about. when the time comes i'll just blame the rising prices i do experience on supernatural causes. maybe goblins

Ear doctor: Don’t use Q-Tips
Me already imagining putting a screw driver I found in the driveway in my ear when I get home: I womt

Headline of a Q&A in New Yorker formatting Headline: A panicked middle-aged man refuses to tell me directions to the bathroom. Subhed: Please, I just have to pee. I'm in a hurry. By Isaac Chotiner March 4, 2026

Excuse me. Oh, God. Oh, no. Holy shit. Get away from me. I was wondering if you knew where the bathrooms are. Look, I'm ... it's not a crime to scroll through your high school girlfriend's Instagram account. We remained friends after high school! I was at her wedding! It's only natural to see how she's doing.

I'm in a bit of a hurry, and I'm afraid that if I choose the wrong corridor, I'll be late for my train. I think they're down that way, but I'm actually from out of town. Please stop talking to me.

Real quick, though. I agree that it's natural to be interested in an old friend, but aren't you afraid about the message you might be sending by liking a picture of her at the beach from 2015? If that did happen, and I'm only going off your word, it was probably an accident. They put the ... scroll bars or whatever ... close to the thumbs up button. People have been complaining about that for years. I've been complaining about that for years.

Bro, I saw your post and I’m going to read it as uncharitably as possible because six months ago you posted something mean about something I liked and I’ve been thinking about it every day since.

We'd all be happier if we lived somewhere walkable (The Deep Space Nine space station)

St Anger might be the first time I remember a song making me laugh out loud

One of the funniest things to come out of this are the brits who won’t leave Dubai even as it’s being bombed. One influencer adjacent guy went on a live stream on his balcony and said he’d rather be killed by Iran than go back to Wigan

i'm teaming up with kalshi to pick up a car battery, angle it so that one of its corners is pointed at the ground, and drop it directly on my toenail

Twin Peaks Logo Generator Turtle Power!

Til next time, Kitsap

I'm working on a game where you play as the Virtual Referee!

#gamedev #indiegame

Fuck, they’re going to put Riley Gaines in charge.

Xenomorph I.

Pens:
Micron 003, 005, 01, 02, 03, 05, 10.
Derwent 03, 05.

#Drawing #Alien #Xenomorph #PenDrawing #BlackAndWhite #BNW

he can feel woke 2 coming like a rainstorm in a bad knee