Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings

therapist: i understand you have trouble rapping with sisters [Black women].

reminiscing about when i was in school & this was in the text for multicultural counseling skills class where the scenario is the white therapist is building rapport with a Black patient having relationship troubles

We love to see it 💀

i'm hallucinating

I don't recall any previous transformative technologies that had to be sold to the public so hard. No one in 1999 was going, "Guys. Cell phone? It's coming, whether we like it or not. I think it's important, FOR WOMEN ESPECIALLY, to learn about cell phone. So that we're not left behind!!"

I rly gotta deal with my low self esteem issues. For the past few days all my friends have been saying and doing such nice things for me for my birthday and my first secret thought is always ‘wow it’s crazy how all these people are lying to me and saying how cool and fun I am’

Me pretending to be nonplussed reading the letter the state sent me about how they’re vacuuming up my entire $1600 tax refund to pay my tax debt I never finished paying off, meanwhile I have to live off $200 until payday next week

If you are so paralyzed by an indecision that you need a chatbot to tell you what coffee drink to order, you probably need to check into a rehab. Also we’re gonna need a rehab for chatbot addiction. Where you have to like relearn colors and how to do laundry.

Starting my four day birthday weekend off with a bang and by that I mean a power outage

Dude somehow looks profoundly evil and also like a Keebler Elf junior executive

Opinion Editorial Board America’s income tax is progressive The rich already pay more than their fair share

Unbelievable stuff from the Washington Post on behalf of Jeff Bezos today.

Steamed Hams full transcript Well, Seymour, I made it- despite your directions. Ah. Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon. - Yeah. Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, Seymour. Ah- Skinner with his crazy explanations The superintendent's gonna need his medication When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight Seymour! Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me? Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour? Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams. Whew. Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers. I thought we were having steamed clams. D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers. You call hamburgers steamed hams? Yes. It's a regional dialect. - Uh-huh. Uh, what region? - Uh, upstate New York. Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams. " Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression. I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger. Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe. - For steamed hams. - Yes. Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second. - Of course. Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there? - Aurora borealis. - Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen? - Yes. - May I see it? No. Seymour. ! The house is on fire. ! No, Mother. It's just the northern lights. Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.

Today is officially the 30th anniversary of Steamed Hams. On April 14, 1996, "22 Short Films About Springfield" aired for the first time!

Did she get paid in meth

I wonder if the guy who originally posted the Neil Banging Out The Tunes photo knows that he has created a minor holiday for whimsical weirdos

watercolor of neil the rat banging out the tunes on his tiny keyboard

y'all KNOW what mother fucking day it is!!!!!!

Play this on tv as regularly as those weight loss drug ads play on Tubi and it would honestly make a difference IMO

Dril's pfp with speech bubble going down. Below it, a New York Times headline that reads "To fill and traffic controller shortage, F.A.A. turns to gamers"

september: students reverting to handwritten assignments to avoid AI accusations

december: ChatGPT launches HandWright, a "Digital Calligrapher"

february: students reverting to cuneform tablets

may: Anthropic launches CuneClaude Tablet Generator into beta

eric adams should be modded into civ games for challenge runs. Like he can just spawn as the head of the ottoman empire

I’m gonna scream and blood is gonna pour out of my mouth and over my teeth and down my chin and pour and pour and pour until I’m inside out

Guy who voted for Geogre Bush twice writing in a place called The Liberal Gazette: As we approach 2028, Democrats should be doing unpopular things that make them look stupid

Bezos thinks the Amazon Driver Piss Bottles should be standard for all Poors everywhere

I don’t think he’ll do it but it’s everyone’s loss if I’m wrong so, lose/lose situation

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

how are we supposed to stop an elderly man with dementia who constantly shits himself and can barely string a sentence together? idk, one slippery flight of stairs? it's not like he's in a fucking battle mech

I’m not even a space guy but watching this flyby livestream and hearing actual smart, kind, curious, gracious people being in charge of things feels like a burst of glorious oxygen straight up the nose

This has the same level of subversiveness as giving a thumbs down to Hitler, maybe even less so. How is everyone so bad at this.

Could an empire in decline do THIS? *launches deeply unpopular invasion cementing status as lunatic-led pariah state, its not clear what kind of move i was trying to do*