Rocking an eyepatch today. And no, I'm not auditioning for Treasure Island or Pirates of Penzance.

When someone asks me why I have two of the exact same dresses.

So your dog can be a basic bitch too. 🐕

Rollo the lap doggo

That’s what Google says. But I wouldn’t be surprised if there was also a Big Mac and a stripper button.

“Something, something, something, dark side. Something, something, something, complete".

The majestic house lion

But we have the Diet Coke button in the White House again, so everything will be alright… 🙄

When you have two favorite hats and you can't decide which one to wear.

Find someone who looks at you the way Ernie looks at Bert.

A few of my favorite things…