i don’t know what a “cousin walk” is. i don’t have a relationship with my extended family. not because i’m gay or there’s trauma, i just am not interested

they should make a banana where the inside of the peel is coated in peanut butter. as an enjoyable and portable treat

hi

forgot about this

oh i have not been posting on here but my colleagues and i filed with CWA to form a union at grindr and that has been the highlight of probably my adult career https://www.them.us/story/grindr-union-announcement

i have had such a bad six weeks that i totally forgot i got diagnosed with OCD and was supposed to do something about it

yeah i got trypophobia the way i’m terrified of seeing hole!!!!!

they really stopped being nice about marketing weight control food

le epic bacon revival

threads literally had to do one thing which was be slightly better than twitter and instead they created possibly the worst first time user experience of all time, killing any chance of a viable returning network effect. almost impressive.

i’m just a RANDOM PERSON FROM COLLEGE TO YOU HUH

it’s so bad. the home page is just like…. fuckjerry trying to tweet ??? and i can’t choose to not see it?

honestly good on past me 3 minutes of sobbing is more than enough today

put on some mount eerie to fully go crying meltdown mode and forgot i’d queued up an entire charli xcx album the other day. transitioned from real death into Lipgloss ft Cupcakke

my version of a thirst trap… look at me i can make cherry cobbler….

thinking about him

i’m convinced all rain that falls within city limits has about a 50% chance of giving me legionnaire’s disease

just fucking kidding of course. i’m just thrilled by the prospect of a hot dog before noon

going to a hot dog party in queens this morning.. god bless am*rica

i used to be a proficient vocalist with coloratura soprano range but unfortunately i have no existing recordings of this and have been smoking cigarettes for about a decade so no one believes me

i need a one dance…got a little pee in my pants

i wish i could just chill and watch movies during my week off instead of being like “ooooh i need to rearrange all the furniture in my house”

i love that there’s just swarms of gnats now and you go outside to do anything and get plastered with gnat corpses it’s so cute and summer fun <3

i posted “benjamin butthole: every year my anus shrinks slightly” on twitter and got zero engagement. this proves the app is indeed dying

so glad i don’t have to post this shit on instagram or anything. feels wrong. also don’t want to know how many people viewed my refrigerator musings… degrading experience

trying to come up with a good meal out of some cauliflower and fresh fennel bc they’re both about to turn. not sure how this will pan out

this is so fascinating like it’s just totally unrelated to the pizza it came with

i want it to continue being a frustrating mystery because i’m afraid the answer is “eat it as a dessert/palate cleanser” or something

hewwo

green tubes on a plate

i love seeing google reviews for fine dining. lemme get the Green Tubes please